Art, Evolution, Poetry

A Shortcut to Love

I used to think falling in love was the key to happiness… you think you learn every thing you need to know as a little girl… “he’ll be on a horse, just before midnight;  I’ll be wearing white, and it will be happily ever after”.  Right?

And then… you grow up.

Reality smacks you in the face, and if you’re paying attention, you realize that if you really want to fall in love in a HEALTHY way, you must find that happiness and love within yourself first. Quintessential, yes, just as the love itself is.  A perfect mix of idealism and reality.   There are no shortcuts.  There’s no magic pill or perfect weight that suddenly grants you the divine agape soulmate twin flame type of love you read about in the romance novels.  You do the work for you; you get to that place where you are SO ecstatic to NOT be in a shitty to relationship, to be FREE, and that’s when true love finally has the opportunity to open itself to you.  Even then, it’s not a guarantee.

In the meantime, while it’s incredibly difficult to wait it out and trust yourself in this divine plane,  in all actuality, if you are not madly in love with yourself, then you have no business trying to love or support another human, a partner, let alone a child.  Even if it NEVER happens in this lifetime, don’t you still want to be THAT happy, that it doesn’t even matter?   I do.  And every day is an effort to meet myself in that place.

So many people are miserable in relationships, and also miserable alone. Loneliness is a slow death that will kill anyone’s spirit faster than it will kill a body; but what good is a body without a spirit alive? Falling in love with yourself, all the while letting go of attachment to things and places and ideas that will in theory ‘make you happy’ requires a good dose of proactivism; meaning, you’re going to have to go out and get it.  You can’t sit passively and wait for love to find you.  FIND yourself.   I dare you.

We look at couples who have been together for years and think, “Why them? How come they get to be so happy together and in their relations?  Why do they deserve it?”

First of all, if you are still thinking like that, then you’re not there, or ready.  You still have work to do within loving yourself.  Once you’re there, you won’t CARE who has what relationship or why they deserve it more than you.

Also, what we often fail to see are the sacrifices, or choices, one makes to be in love, truly. It requires a selfless that comes from selfishly loving yourself first; then that selfishness turns INTO selflessness for others. Loving another means not always doing exactly what you want because you’re putting someone else’s needs right up there with yours, which can look like a chore, but one that shouldn’t ever bring resentment.   This applies to familiar love, and the same goes for romantic love; there comes a point when someone else’s happiness becomes just as necessary for your happiness, though not dependent on it.  The second you depend on another to fill up your cup, that is the moment your cup will drain, and continue to drain, unless you re-learn to fill it up yourself.  This happens on a micro and macro scale.

So, how do we will up our cups?  One bite at a time. With a daily dose of self love and self care.  Eventually, when you start giving yourself SO much self love, you will begin to expect it.  You deserve it.   You already know all the ways; don’t let it overwhelm you.  Remember your worth; stop giving your power  away to other people – that is never true love.  YOU live in your power and in your own divine agape love.  Once you’re there, then we can talk matchmaking. 

Anything you would give a partner, give to yourself.  Anything you would WANT from another, choose to be that.  Too many people are sitting around waiting for love to find them, wondering why it isn’t happening. When was the last time you went to the gym, or got yourself a pedicure?  “Money’s tight,” you say?  Work out a work-trade for your local gym membership, or take up a part time job with all the free time you have not dating somebody and start saving those pennies for a well earned vacation and spa retreat.  Take yourself somewhere exotic.  Push yourself to harness your creativity and freedom to make the most of this trip around the sun, even if it’s alone.  We are born alone.  We die alone.  And in the meantime, we have all of these fabulous souls to get to know and experience on a daily basis!  Start inside.  Work your way out by walking your talk.  The only thing you’ll have to regret, is your own disappointment.  Start now before it’s too late, and remember, it’s never too late to love yourself! 

And Happy Valentines Day,

MissConsumed

 

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www.themissconception.com

Evolution, Happenings, Holidays, Sacred Space

Women in Psychedelics 11/19/18 – Winter Musings of a Turned on Mind

I’ve noticed myself having been in a terrible mood as of lately, not shocking considering the state of affairs globally. Usually I’m an upbeat person. I don’t have too much to be upset about; considering the depths of depression I’ve been to, I’m doing alright. I am not angry with anybody (grateful for this). I don’t think any one is upset with me (fingers crossed). I’m not injured (more blessings). Though I am in a city of grey smoke and dark skies, old wounds have since turned into scars, all of this I still find encouragement enough to face some glaringly apparent realities. Your pain is still my pain. Your challenges still mine. And until we are all given the same freedoms and treatment, we must continue to stand up for what is right when there is so much wrong out there. We can do better. We must do better to honor our brothers and sisters. And to heal is going to require a whole lot of medicine. There is a reason medicine usually tastes bitter; it’s often a hard pill to seallow. The question is: how badly do we want to be healed? Are you willing to put in the work?

If you believe in evolution and the survival of the fittest notion, then it makes sense to me that before us monkies found the mushrooms, we were quite uncivilized. One species dominated others and the food chain fell accordingly. As some became more aware, others stayed ignorant and knew less about right or wrong. In today’s modern day of information it seems that ignorance is a choice. If you’re paying any attention at all today, you can’t help but see through the bullshit and hope for a better world.

Seeing the dark morale and destructive repercussions of both Mother Nature and Man Kind alike, the future of our planet and species does not look entirely promising. As a past and somewhat “safe” period of existence crumbles and dies, newer forces of power make way. Though it’s easy to tune out and look the other direction, much easier, while to look our current position in the face with conviction requires great strength and patience, as well as I’d say a healthy dose of unselfish empathy.

Unpacking all of this, I recognize that I have been angry, cruel with my thoughts, harsh with my loved ones, and down on my own self worth. Mad at the government. Annoyed at co-workers undeservingly. Introverted and quiet. I haven’t been able to be there for others, and for all of this I am sorry. This is my mission, to call it out, and change the path. I am grateful for those in my life who have been kind with me and still reminded me that I am/we are love(d). Simple phone calls and messages go so far these days. A true friend is a blessing, and often helps the medicine go down sweetly, despite being so bitter.
Speaking of medicine, I learned SO much this week at the Chacruna Women in Psychedelics conference, even though it was a reminder of how far we still have to go in the name of justice, it was inspiring to say the least. We have work to do, kids, and it starts with individuals making commitments.

The conference began with an informative conversation on how the drug war affects women initially, which moved into a specific conversation on sexual abuse predominantly in the ayahuasca community. Ethical touch and consent policies are currently becoming more and more relevant in these doctrines, as the conversation continues in such grey areas of practice.

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Women in Psychedelics Conference

Practice; everything is and can be a practice. Whatever you learn and discover can be turned into a practice depending on how often you should do it and how committed you are to the practice. Yoga you could practice daily. Brushing your teeth twice or more. Practice playing an instrument or saying prayers.

Kathleen Harrison broke down the logistics of how the practice of psychedelics began. The origin of women in psychedelics essentially began with the 1840s feminist movement. Mind you, birth control wasn’t legal until the mid 1900s, and LSD was slowly creeping onto the scene. When JFK was assassinated in 1963, that shattered the hearts of many young people in America, and the result of that anger, coupled with the Vietnam war draft, the birth of LSD, and then the resurfacing of birth control, all gave birth to the free love movement we know today.

The summer of love in 1968 brought about a release and a desire to explore. With birth control now readily available, the use of LSD in the music scene became rampant and hormones were raging.

Using LSD as a ‘party drug’, and really any medicinal molecule that is abused, can cause great cracks in the psyche. These splits can either help us or destroy us. “That which can heal you can also kill,” said Michelle Corbin”. We all know someone who has taken one two many hits and never come back. It’s only unfortunate we don’t have the resources as a society in place to deal with overt mental illness that can on set quickly when one is not careful with their sacraments. 

While many hippies were abusing said substances that were still legal at the time, others were tuning into the healing power and sustenance that the LSD molecule invokes. “We were trying to refigure how society could operate for the good of the collective,” Harrison said. “Right now the world is in a rut and that is leading to even more suffering. This reality is screaming for a deeper, collective, feministic vision” to intervene, Harrison explained.

“Psychedelics tend to bing a very feminine energy. The great grandmother of wisdom, was invited into the atmosphere, and she began speaking, loudly, if you care to listen.

“Psychedelics themselves are feminine; arising from a deep need of earth and life and to know itself. Precious tools we humans can receive. Use it to investigate yourself to find where you’re hurting and what you need to heal. Then emerge as a new person, then turn to caring for the community.” -Kathleen Harrison

LSD allows the seeker to see invisible structure, the bones, that hold everything up what we assume is reality. They bring out the patterns. And once you know the way a system works, you can change it, but only then. Small parts of society can begin to make resonant changes.

Too much power can lead to psychopathy. We must ask ourselves, where am I not using my agency? Where am I giving it away?”

Michelle Corbin gave a powerful talk on healing toxic masculinity in a woke world. She spoke of the personal being political: the feminist possibilities of psychedelic praxis. “What’s if we could reframe rape as a men’s issue instead of a women’s problem,” Corbin said.

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Top ten tips to end rape … if you’re a man.

“What would it mean to have a medicine that can cure toxic masculinity?,” Corbin said. Let them dig up their own rage and anger that keep these social and political construct machines going. Privilege can be blinding, and step one is admitting you have a problem, before the medicine can be used properly. This also begs the concept touched on at the beginning of this article; how to keep medicinal practices ethical and safe.

How can we, safely, use these visionary states to look at engrained structures and figure out how they can change? What habits and structures are within each of us that we haven’t yet looked at? How can we look at these dominating systems with different lenses? This is how you disassemble cultural programing. 

Why would anybody want to do that? Disassemble cultural programming…

So often the worth of the female voice is misinterpreted. If you’re too quiet you’re week. If you speak up too much its competition. Women must be careful what story you tell, especially concerning the mainstream. The opposite of mainstream is the underground, which one can also argue is feminine in nature: it’s horizontal like mycelium, it connects everyone and holds everything together. Nothing can take it down. The underground is a rich nourishing long term project that won’t disappear easily. It holds a different kind of information of not just goods but actual experience and information. It often transmits by oral tradition because it is illegal sometimes and not always published. For years, the understand has held and continues to hold these sorts of conversations about psychedelics and medicine, and it was suggested at this talk to continue with this sort of community intention.

Presenter Sara Reed was in the middle of her moving telling of how MDMA changed her life and the life of almost 2/3 of participants in a clinical study with MDMA and PTSD. Participants took MDMA in three controlled settings, with three meetings before and in between each session to progress with a licensed professional. At the end of the study 68% of participants no longer had PTSD.

Sara Reed also went through the study herself, so that she could better understand as a psychologist how to use this tool. She said that of the many lessons learned, what stuck out most was how powerful of a tool this could be for anybody who has gone through trauma. “It’s not about fixing yourself, instead learning to love the complexities within you. Home is where the performance stops and play begins with endless possibilities,” Reed said.

The BIG QUESTION that many researchers and presenters kept coming back to in all of their work was: “What are we learning here? That is what this project is about. “What is the awareness we can bring to this challenging future?”

So what have we learned here? 

First you must look at what your toxic assumptions are. Know what is out there to be gathered, gather it carefully. Get your roots tapped into where good information comes to you. Look at these gifts in this way, dive deep and be careful when you ascend: when the ordinary becomes non ordinary. Value community and your resources collectively within. The best way to become a master? Master yourself. And when you’re triggered, breath through it. Be relational, not reaction.

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Thinking about what there is to learn from each other, and ourselves, let alone these molecules got me fired about up about the idea of learning about these sacraments more in depth WITH my community, local and beyond.

What does that look like? 

The last speaker of the night really bated my breath when she told us that it’s time to “stop sucking on the tit of our lies”. Jodie Evans explained that it’s time to stop supporting this “war economy” that is so convenient and easy for the white man, and instead to start promoting a peace economy. Which means investing in quality, resources, community conversations, connection, pleasure, interdependence, sharing and abundance. Kathleen encouraged us saying: one of the quickest ways to make these moves is to commit to a group practice with your community: Moral Mondays. She challenged us to for nine months get together with your people to discuss one topic or another, and let the vacuum of creation take hold. Make it your practice, and see what unfolds.

This gave me my idea. Every month, let’s pick a molecule, a sacrament, a compound, and let’s go in, together. Let us study and learn from each ogher. If say one said molecule of the week isn’t your thing, then you can just observe, that’s fine, too. Pick your participation and do what you can. For example, let’s say one week we pick tobacco. If you don’t use tobacco, don’t start by all means. But you may want to carry some around with you, burn it like sage, feel it’s power and see if it does anything for you. One women on the panel shared how tobacco is one of the more sacred plants in history, often used with prayers and songs while “reading” people, blowing the smoke over their heads while receiving insights.

Let us talk to the plants, and let’s let them talk to us. Once we have worked our way collectively (either in person, or online, via chat video group, etc) we will then begin attaching molecules to issues. For example, maybe one evening we will pair a micro-dose with the issue of the political system construct, or perhaps whisky and ethics. We will decide together what next week’s practice will be, and we will learn as much as we can with the comfort of our chosen community. If you wish to do this in your town, with your people, please do. We’ll call it Going A-WAWL: “And What Are We Learning”

“If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” -Lilla, Aboriginal Elder and Activist to set out a challenge for people working towards social justice.

At the end of the discuss evening talk on psychedelics, a ball of string was passed around, each participant instructed to take the string, wrap it around their wrist and then pass it on to the next person, over and over again until the room became a web. This string activity was to remind us that we are all held in the arms of the grandmother. Our actions affect everybody around us. Jodie Evans said “when we remember that we are all connected we act in a very different way. Each day waking up is a practice, wake up daily.”

Sitting with my own frustration and negativity, I was reminded that once we finally have the patience to sit with the darkness, what needs to happen will come. I woke up, again that day. And a little more everyday sinfe.

It rained today in California, bringing a sense of temporary relief and quiet. The air was cleaner. I felt a bit better. Deep breaths and open hearts blossomed on this season of gratitude. 

As we move into this dark season of what many consider to be “holy days”, I ask that we all be more mindful that while some people are celebrating, others are in mourning. There is space for both, to comfort and rejoice. Enjoy the moments of stillness while we can. Take a healthy dose of your own medicine. Don’t forget to spread some love where you would least expect it, please.

L’shalom


MissAwawl

http://www.themissconception.com

PS please forgive me and correct me if any information is mistaken or misquoted. 

Burn, Evolution, Music Festivals, Sacred Space

iBurningMan

The first time I rolled up to Burning Man in 2013, fresh off the festival circuit, I arrived at 6 AM, after being on the road for three days and in line for 10 hours, it got real. I jumped out of the car and the first thing I said to this stranger was: “I really like your necklace“ shyly, just trying to drum up conversation. He looked at me and said “UGH fine take it.“ And handed me the necklace, exasperated. Two strangers offered me some chocolates, I politely declined, and then promptly I hopped on my bike and rode towards “The Man” like I was supposed to. The first thing I encountered? A scene of people, full blown working out with barbells and equipment in front of these giant BELIEVE letters, as the sun was rising; I knew that this wasn’t just a party or an experience to be taken lightly. This was evolution in motion.

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-Burning Man 2013: Da Vinci’s Workshop-
A group of body builders pumping iron at sunrise by this Believe sign .
Letters by by: Laura Kimpton with Jeff Schomberg


This year, 2018, the art was unlike anything I’d ever fathomed. There was the iSheep, a roaming pack of sheep, that if you were nice to them they would let you ride them. If you didn’t ask consent, they were mean sheep, and would yell at you, so I am told. Could never find those buggers.

-iSheep by: Bardia Saeedi, DC Regional Artists-
from: Alexandria, VA

IF you were lucky enough to find “The Pole”, a random lite up pole, and you were lucky enough to know just the right way to shake your head, you would see the most incredible faces within the motion of your eyeballs. WHAT!? ETIPADO as it was called is a mysterious strobing pole. It displays images captured from an antique camera, but the secret to viewing them must be discovered.

-Said pole Installation titled ETIPADO: Extremely Tall Image Processing And Display Object-
by: Grant Patterson from: San Francisco, CA

Meanwhile, THESE poles were also amazing…and much easier to see. Made of 11,000 hanging LEDs in a volumetric field, these concentric pathways of light interpret movement and sound, mimicked shadows in a visual form throughout.


-Galactic Meadows- by Spectral Form out of SF-

I found out the rainbow runway arches were ACTUALLY demonstrating the speed of sound, and that art cars could actually hook up to the runway with a software that Robot Heart developed and play their set. Then the music that plays shows the wave frequencies that are displayed in lights down the whole the row.

Then there was the polar bear made out of white car hoods, advocating polar bear environmental safety. “Singularity” was the house, in a birdcage, in a house, inside a birdcage inside a house, and it was burned in the name of dispelling depression and honoring those that have suffered. “Let U.S Prey” was made out of pennies, nickles and dimes, 27,000 coins to be exact, or so I heard.

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-Let U.S. Prey by: Mr and Mrs Ferguson-
from: Alameda, CA

Burning Man really is like a beautiful train wreck that you can’t stop watching, even though you know it might not end well. Boop. Maybe it’s not as big of a crash as expected, but worth watching none the less. Even those overturn that have chosen not to return after burning for how ever many years, are still watching, because they know the magic of Black Rock City. This year, even Skirllex was amazing #shocking. You really never know with this place…

The drone light show coming from Amsterdam was an absolutely mind-blowing performative artwork at the interface between technology, science, and art. “Franchise Freedom” exposed the tension between individual freedom and safety in numbers, and was choreographed to music composed and played by Joep Beving. The patterned movements of the 600 drones apparently were based on the patterns of bird flights. I saw a hand beckoning the crowd to approach the Mayan Warrior. Perhaps I was just hallucinating?

Burning Man 2018 Studio Drift’s Amazing Luminous Drone Swarm & Mayan Warrior Dutch composer Joep Beving from ruprecht studios on Vimeo.

At sunrise on Tuesday morning, some circus friends I know presented a performance art piece called: “Straight No Chaser – The Great Straight Escape” … An escape artist was hanging upside down from a hot air balloon near the temple, and she did it!

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-Strait No Chaser : The Great Strait Escape by: LadyBEAST and GatorDox-
from: Oakland, CA

This ridiculous city has taught me more about freedom, and about who I never would’ve thought I would become, over the past four years. I’ve showered with total strangers in a completely non-sexualize way and felt so empowered afterwards #carcuswash. I’ve eaten ribs and salmon a top of a giant glowing pirate ship at five in the morning while Crystal Method the artist danced beside me. #pearlnecklace I’ve had more synchronistic and unexpected magical experiences in the middle of nowhere in one week then probably in my whole life before burning man combined. #ttitd


-Still trying to locate the project name-

This was a circus of light up wheels, that had traveled fixe desserts, and was destined for Black Rock City. Every night 15 volunteers committed 4+ hours of their time to walk these wheels to the larger inner playa installation and dance in loincloths for onlookers! What a spectacle! I still don’t know what to call it.

Speaking of names, one day, while hanging at my camp, the Pandora Bike and Fix it Shoppe bar, a women came up and when I asked what her name was, she said she didn’t have a playa name. My co-bartender, “Bish” said while she poured the girl a drink “Well silverbell, it’ll come when you’re ready”. The girl and I both looked at each other and I said “That’s it! That’s your name!” She said she liked it, and then I reached down and pulled off the bracelet of silver bells I had just put on minutes earlier, that I hadn’t worn in years, and promptly handed her the bracelet, deeming her Silverbell. And that’s how the they get you… before you know it, you’re covered in dust and loving it.

Oh yes, I have fallen in love with the dust… just the smell of it turns me on. This strong, smooth and sultry salt bed dust gets into everything, and yet I still can’t get enough of it. It’s in the air you breathe it’s in the food you eat and it’s definitely in the places you sleep and play and worship and dance and shit and cry and bathe… It becomes a part of you. It connects you to everything else through the vibrations that you can literally see the music waves pulsating through a dust storm. In the morning light you can see the dust kicking up off of art car wheels as they roll five miles an hour across the playa, spiraling out into fractals; it’s really a sight for sore eyes. #goggles.

This dust reminds me of sugar and every other white powder that’s worth indulging in, it serves a purpose and an important one at that. This dusty powder is a way of life; it is a medicine. And while it may not be the most logical, rational or economical “medicine” you’ve ever heard of, once you’ve tried this Kool-Aid, you’re going to want to go deeper. Down whichever rabbit hole you choose! There’s lots to explore. Even sober ones, it’s true.

This year, as I was biking Sunday pre-event, alone, across the playa under the stars, night one of my 2018 adventure, I realized that I was laughing, and crying, and singing and dancing, sweating and breathing heavy, and jumping WHILE riding my bike, all at once, and I couldn’t help but think “this is the closest to a religious experience as anyone in this day and age will ever get.” In that moment I felt invincible and ecstatic, like I hadn’t felt since I was a little girl. I felt like my true self, finally come into perfect alignment. How long can it last?


-The Alter of Intention-
by: Daniel Strickland, Vinicius Luz, M.Emoto Institute, Brazilian Burners
from: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil



Two weeks later, in the throughs of decompression and after burn withdraw, I still think that it’s worth every bit of energy and sacrifice, though a harder pill to swallow in my grumpy state. If you’ve never gone from hell to heaven and back again in two week’s time, it’s impossible to fathom the gravity of the circumstances. If you haven’t at least considered quitting your job and going to Burning Man, than this might not be for you.

Is it worth it? Absolutely. And I’ve lost 15 pounds! Burning Man is truly the pilgrimage of many lifetimes that I waited way too long to take. Black Rock City is forever etched onto my heart and pulses through my veins, daily, calling me to return home as soon as possible. 360 days we must wait. But the burn doesn’t just stop there, you know…. #openseasame



One of the most important facets of deeming yourself a burner is taking these principles that you operate under out into the world, pre and post burn. Otherwise, what is the point? Many of us struggle with the dreaded “exclusiveness” and “waste of resources” dilemma. Believe me, us burners are well aware of the discrepancies and issues within our community that are all over the news. “With all that money spend on a 747 we could have fed hundreds of starving children”, is an absolutely valid argument that many of us within and outside the organization have voiced and battled with each other concerning, but it’s really not up for ANYONE to decide whether or not something is art. The point is, we are out there, pushing the envelope in a very raw and real way. We build a community from scratch, and with that comes all kinds of pulses. The challenge with any community, and especially one of this force, is that you have the best of humanity, and also the worst of humanity, all under one roof. I do want to point out that radically inclusive doesn’t mean you have to include the rapist or the thief; but discovering who these people are is the hard part, as people are good at hiding in a crowd.


As you’ll see within any city, you’ll find just about everything you look for. Bars, yoga studios, dance parties, parades, restaurants, balloon rides, roller skating rinks, temples, you name it, it’s at Black Rock City. Funnily enough, this year AND last year I had my megaphone stolen right out of my bag on burn night, when I wasn’t looking. It’s a small price to pay for a week of fulfilling magic, but still, it is a reality we are facing as a community. Just because you’re in an utopian society doesn’t mean you don’t still have to watch your back.

***WANTED: Silver megaphone, small frame, connected to swell rainbow water bottle inside a hemp-laced carrying case. REWARD IF FOUND***

One night an obviously disheveled woman came in to my camp. She asked if she could buy a drink which we explained to her there was no money used at Burning Man once you arrive. I asked her how she got there and she explained that her boyfriend had brought her she never heard of Burning Man she had never heard of the 10 principles and she wasn’t sure where she was going to sleep that night as her boyfriend had kicked her out and left her. She disappeared before I could get a ranger, after she realized she was most certainly out of her element. It was a tragic story and situation that really hurt my heart. But that’s what happens, you get all walks of life.



Every year the playa energy changes, physically, emotionally, spirituality, and weather wise of course. This year, the pulse was running hot, in my opinion. The virgin burners were prepared, the veterans seemed patient, lines were shorter than ever, and the flow was smooth, mostly until Wednesday night. I could feel a very direct shift in attitude once the city went from the week long committed artists and city builders to the weekend warriors who just show up to party. It’s an interesting observation to attend to. 



Still, it’s important to recognize that what you chose to pay attention to is what you will find at the burn. If you want to stay cranky at entitled assholes all week long, than that’s what you’ll see. I choose to focus on the art, music and friendships that we built. The best part about Black Rock City is the intensity of which things happen. Time speeds up. Emotions are heightened. Strength gets stronger. Weaknesses become glaringly obvious. Anything you haven’t dealt with in your immediate force field will rear it’s little head and say “you better check this right now or we’re gonna ruin your burn”. Happens every year, even to the best of us. The burn you want and the burn you need are never the same thing. Usually they balance each other out.


They say “the playa provides” bla bla bla… I say, YOU provide, for yourself and for your community. Almost every time I indeed needed something, it was right there, all I had to do was voice my desire aloud. I came as self prepared as possible, and then went out of my way to help others because that’s what you do with communal effort and civic responsibility. It’s a team effort, when it comes to building a city, running it, and then also tearing it down, it requires everyones help. If you don’t give, you won’t get. Everything is temporary here, and that’s part of the magic.

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-Galaxia Temple 2018-
By the incredible Temple Crew



Speaking of magic, or the unexplainable, the Temple comes to mind. Never before in my four years of Burning have I felt a connection to the temple. I would go, stop in, look around and leave feeling sad for others and underwhelmed for myself. I didn’t get it. But everything changed this year.

This year I took my broken ass heart to the temple and gave it away… by that I mean, I took a paper flower for every man who has broken my heart and released it into the spiral abyss of flame. Apparently I wasn’t the only one on this train of though, as the temple was FILLED with wedding dresses, old letters from ex lovers and notes to abusive partners saying “we will no longer stand for this treatment”. “Fuck your narcissism” and “Fuck cancer” It was so powerful, you could feel the thickness of tension, and when it burned on Sunday night, I could also feel the release. The vortex was undeniable, and some of us swore that Larry was even there, in the dust. Check out this video of the dirt devil tornado that surprised us all towards the end of the temple burn. I learned that at Burning Man people call these tornados “ancestors”.

Now I’d like to remind those who don’t know that the “theme” of “burning man” this year was iRobot, which didn’t please my tastebuds at all, initially. In response I chose to moonlight as Dorothy the Burning Man iRobot, who was created thanks to the Radicals Brining Back Ritual campaign, and she was sent to Burning Man to protest robots. Sponsored by the Anti Bot Coalition, the ABC didn’t end up having to protest in the end, when it seemed to be that the humans were a bigger part of the problem than the bots, however I felt like my mission was a valid one. “Who are these robots, and why are they taking over my burn? I miss Radical Ritual…”

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-Fractal the Turtle and The Nonsense Man and a Robot @ The Man 2018-

In the end, iRobot did turn out to have a very certain charm, and certainly put the tech folk to work. Thank you Silicon Valley. These are our hard earned tax dollars at work here folks.

As a lady who comes from the land of Oz, I used to think tornados were terrifying; these ones are ADORABLE. People chase them around, they carry dust and sparks and ashes with them sometimes. There truly is something for everyone at Burning Man, and these ancestors are for me. It was love at first sight.



As in love with this aspect of the burn that I am, there are others that chose not to attend the massive fires, ever. For some, it’s too crowded. Others, too painful. And it’s my responsibly to accept that and support their decision, as much as it doesn’t make sense to me. Everyone is there for a particular reason and season… no judgement. No blame. No shame. As long as your participating best as you can, then you are welcome

I chose to spend my pre-burn doing placement for my camp (Pandora’s bike and fix it Shoppe), working for the Artery (the art placement department, where we also do artist hospitality and give art tours for the mobility challenged) as well as performing several shows too, at center camp, theme camps and beyond. Learning about the art was invaluable, and being able to share with others “oh yeah, THAT hut is called LISTEN and you can go broadcast your heart beat through the speakers” was so special. I sacrificed sleep for sunrises and moments with FAMILY that I will cherish forever. I learned SO much, and most of all what I took away from this year’s burn was that all you can do is “Let it go”. Memories can live on, but the emotion and attachment to all things material and even surreal, we must let it go. And it felt REAL damn GOOD to let shit go. I had a lot of shit. I feel 800 times lighter. I feel like myself again, and I am so grateful for all the souls I encountered that made sure to tell me that I was on track and in alignment. THANK YOU. You know who you are. 



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-In Every Lifetime I Will Find You by: Michael Benisty, Love and Unity-
from: Brooklyn, NY

I learned the first year I went, in 2013, not to come to something of this magnitude with our your BEST FRIENDS around you. You’re going to want them there. And every year, I leave the burn thinking “God, I totally have to bring my mom to this.” Maybe next year ma?

Now, if you THINK You can’t make it to Burning Man, you know your options, right? First of all, set an intention to go, take off work, and TRY to get a ticket. Pay attention. See what happens. If it comes easy, then it’s a go, and if there’s resistance, LISTEN. Next year will be better anyway!

Second mission: find a regional, or start your own if you must, even if it’s in your backyard. Build something. Burn. It. Do something weird. Dress up. Go out. Start conversations. Be YOU.

Third, check out Burners Without Borders, or just start researching the burn culture in general an see where it takes you. Pick a principle and dive in unpacking it. People make all sorts of sacrifices to attend a burn. I always say “some people choose football, some people play golf, some join a gym… I choose to burn”. It’s become a way of life, like having breakfast, or playing tennis. The sacrifices I’ve made always are outweighed by the benefits. And every single day I think, “how can I turn the default world into a real life burn?” Maybe it already is… but one person can’t play THIS game. It takes a communal effort. 

If the world is your burn, what’s your next move? Be bold. No apologies. Go after what you believe in. And don’t ever let anybody tell you how to live your life. Especially burners, if it doesn’t jive with your soul.

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-Taken at the Morris Burner Hostle in Reno, August, 2018-



Burning Man started as a social experiment, and continues to unfold and evolve at it’s own pace and stride. Sure, there are organizations and the organization itself, but nobody is in the captain chair saying “this is who we are booking and this is the kind of art we are going to make”. Nope. That’s up to US. And that’s where WE need to take the power and make it something we can be proud of. I’m talking about functional art. Art that serves a purpose and makes the city or world a better place. For instance, I’d like to see an art installation grant for composting and decorative bathroom for deep playa, that are burned at the end of the week (waste removed). Or maybe a water fill-up oasis in the middle of the dessert, with water goddesses reciting poetry, filling up your hearts and your drink vessels at once. I’m not sure if/when I’ll have the resources to do such activities, but it’s fun to fantasize.

(I haven’t even gotten started on the art car scene… To be continued…)



City-wise, San Francisco and Reno are both already doing a stellar job of incorporating burner art and functions into their city, and so I challenge you to look around at your community and your city of choice. Where is the need? What are the needs? What are your resources? And how can we turn this shit up a notch. Because the dial is going to keep moving, it’s just a matter of which direction.

Buckle up buttercup. 

And burn bright friends.

Check out ALL of the art at Burning Man here on the website

Until next year….

MissCompact


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-MissConcompact the Unicorn Barbie! “Put ‘er in your pocket”-

Yeah 

Burning Man 2018 dang came and went.
It’s been a good run, time and play well spent
The gate was on point and the greeters greeting blow for blow
With so many more virgins there was lots of room to grow
Watching the sunrise never gets cold
with your new best friends but especially the old.
The dance floors were banging, the fires, oh so lit
“Hey can I borrow some self reliance a bit?”
I brought a band of newbies and they did just fine…
(except one of them) leaving no trace, most of the time.
We all get a bit sloppy sometimes, it’s true
but it’s our civic responsibility to take care of ALL our moop.
So I’ll look after you, you look after me, too
as this cultural utopia blooms into an interfuse
That connects us to our art, our heart, also our dark
and is there no safer way to explore this part?
Surrounded by radical self whatever you call it
making it a point to give freely, no wallet.
It’s an exchange of wonder, magical by design empowerment…
Show me your tricks and I’ll show you mine, with consent.
Whatever intention you put into the effigy or temple
let it unfold, truth be told, baby steps, keep it simple
Usually the burn you want isn’t the thing you need,
but if you pay attention to the lessons and processing
With our reflections can grow what’s been unfurled
as we take these teachings from the burn into the real world.
So thanks for playing. Better luck next year’s turn.
And if you don’t mind, would y’all quit fucking my burn?

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-Burning Man 2018 iRobot pre Temple Burn #Pandora-

Art, Evolution, Poetry


Do you have change for a button sir? 



Imagine there’s this red shiny button, with no label on it… do you push it? Or not? Even if you don’t know what it does. 


See lately, I’ve found myself pushing buttons. Lots of buttons. All the buttons that we must push…

Including but limited to, my own and yours. For example:
I get up, and hit the alarm, first thing, snooze is on, twice or three times AT LEAST I’m gone back to sleep, to push that button again maybe catch another wink. Flip the lights. Then push a series of buttons and knobs, facets, electronics and different kinds of tabs, showered, dressed and ready to brave the street. I unlock the car with a button chirp, jump in the seat, ignition switch and hit the sun roof, then radio, then gps, then reverse, lights, mirror angle, gas action, and we’re down the highway bend.


Across a bridge, pusha button to pay the toll, my mother calls, do I answer the phone? Or click ignore?


Push the button to the gate at work; a code to enter, buttons to remember, systems of order and cognition, passwords to recall, and change as one forgets, don’t we all? Tapping the keys all day, buttons and letters and numbers all in array, combing through pages and emails online, I hit the send button, often to soon, I’ll admit it. I’m hot on the buttons, pulling the trigger out of impulse, and release.


Turn on the fan


Turn down the music, turn it back up again.

Microwave your lunch and then the copy machine parades it’s multiverse of button wizardry all afternoon.



Hit the lock button on the bathroom door, which sometimes I forget, yeah that’s happened before. You want more buttons, we got more in storage…



I am so tired, of fucking pushing buttons, and of people pushing mine – will we ever just chill the fuck out, let the buttons rest for a time?




Yes, maybe, just maybe I’ll let you push my buttons a little, on purpose, if you’re nice, but don’t rush it, until I trust it, otherwise you won’t be pushing it twice. 


Pushing buttons…
Clock out.
Wrap it up.
Take it home, I’m done,

But not before
I reset the buttons back for tomorrow’s pushing some more.

<3,
MissCompissed

Uncategorized

In a year’s time.

It ebbs and flows, the nature of all systems. After being stuck in a rut for the past, oh, one to six years dare I say, it appears this month I’ve begun to blossom back into the highly creative functioning state I’m used to, which is a blessing and a bit of an OCD curse. This energy and attitude is light years improvement from where I’ve come from on this past ride around the sun, and what a year it has been. This city chose me thankfully and didn’t spit me back out, yet. I’ve been here for close to a year, it’s mindful to think about what can and cannot happen in a year. What you can accomplish; what you can leave. Where you’re stuck or where you’re wasting your time, or better yet, growing. 


You get 52 weekends. 110 free evenings to pick and choose as you please. A handful of weekday excursions or yoga classes and how many grocery store runs? How many bonfires? Stolen Glances? Surprise sunrise relationships… Which lead to how many interactions? Countless. Thousands. Millions of ripples exhaling sometimes all at once around you. 365 nights to dream. Three hundred and something showers. So many plane rides, some of us more than the others. Never enough kisses, universally. But enough to get by. For now.

Ahhh, the power of love. 



It’s true, I have fallen in love with life again, with myself and maybe a few other souls, too. And just as much as I’ve loved I’ve lost. They go hand in hand. I’ve also been too hard on myself. Judging. Cringing. Overlooking. I’ve been uninhibited, for better or worse. Letting it all hang out. And I’ve been shut down. Deeply sad and unhinged at times. 

While, I am fullfilled in my heart, I’ve never been fulfilled to the brink of complete comfort. On the brink of utter extinction. My life is a paycheck or accident away from righteous ruin. Seconds away from accidents on highways of life paved with good intentions and bad decisions. Every choice I’ve made came with a consequence. Now I’m just enjoying the ride. It’s too late to change trajectories without great disturbance. Don’t risk derailment. And I’ve started to rather enjoy this rhythm, despite how far up and down it can go. You can’t feel it all without choosing it all, and I chose to feel everything. My path has been a rough ride, though not nearly as tough as many others. I asked for this. I fought for it. And now it is my truth. Undeniable. Sometimes unreliable. Sometimes criable. I have been blessed with truth. 



Still, the glass is half full, or half empty depending on the day. I’m half full and half empty, on the regular. Most days it’s a lot of both. So much gladness and so much pain all the the same time, it’s hard to refrain from being angry, or depressed and having the best night of your life at the same time. Take another shot of medicine and hope for the best. Dance. Think about Trying to clean up our mess. Make something into a better place, even if it’s just our minds, temporarily. I surrender.



As I come more and more into orbit with my own essence and flavor, it becomes apparent that while I can see my own gifts and strengths loud and clear, I cannot exactly define them, or explain them with any sense of logic or reasonable defense. It a true phenomena. The unexplainable things I have seen. My faith is blind. And yet I see this path so clearly; I must blaze on, this mission or calling or whatever the fuck this mission is that haunts me at night. My eyes are open. My heart Is open. I would never wish to unsee, no matter how grotesque or surreal.



To be truly elated to be alive and to have had another year gone by with some obvious perspective shifts, and at the same time to be so alone is one of the hardest juxtapositions to face, and yet it builds strength. Character is told over time and time will read true on your face, dimples and pock marks in all. 



While my scars define me… For the first time in 8 years probably I feel like I am moving back into alignment with my true being. This time, I’m going to try and own it. Not fuck it up. And not care what anyone else thinks. Especially not give my power and attention away to anyone who isn’t reciprocating in a healthy way. 



I do want to always be sure to give thanks to my guides and teachers of wisdom, who have led me by the hand oh so bravely into the darkness in order to spread light.

Ok that note, If YOU ever need to someone to guide the way for you, be it through emotional or physical or spiritual journeying, may I be so honored to pay that light forward.


Sometimes, in order to answer your own question, all you need to do is ask.

MissComeOn

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Uncategorized

This Just In-and-Out Magic Music Revue

This post is dedicated to all the rail riders out there. You know who you are. 

Over the years I feel as though I’ve become a bit of a jaded, music snob, almost proudly so.  I found my tastes, explored them, and am fairly certain I know what I like. I don’t want to go listen to some random rock band that practices in their moms garage anymore, or some undereducated over-hyphed freshman DJ that just discovered Serato. I want quality.  I want to dance. I want my jams. And I want to get home by midnight.

Coming from the Midwest and having spend some significant months in California as of late, the music scene has been a pivotal point of interest for me.  I promote, I perform, I work production. I LOVE to dance!  People notice when you show up, which has afforded me to participate at some very highly sought out events and venues.  Working your ass off in an industry that’s thankless is worth the heart and sweat you put in, though sometimes thankless.  Needless to say, there is nothing quite like being put on the guest list.  I love the nightlife.  I live for the music industry, in so many ways.

But this blog is not to brag or complain, merely to admire… admiration for the classy, yet simple tastes of many Californians; it is to be heralded and humbling, coming from a Kansas Girl.  The songs out here that have taken center stage in my field of noticeable discretion are interesting in all kinds of ways.

Turning the dial on the radio station happens to be one of my favorite activities over the years, and it never fails to entertain my tired eyes and ears.  Random little tastes of classic rock, weather reports and christian gangster rap songs that I would never even know to look up is quite amusing.  And there is something so powerful about knowing you are listening to the same song with hundreds, maybe thousands of others.  All singing along.  All feeling those feels.  There’s power in inclusion.  No two harmonies ever the same.

I will say that cruising around the Bay Area, sun roof open, heated seats on, listening to songs old and new, has brought me a sense of comfort that would digest most.  Spending time in the car is not an optimal way to pass time, however for me, my car has been my home for three years, and these songs, have been the soundtrack to my life.  Both the car and the music are a point of nostalgia, that is intragal to any positive musical experience.

Now, let me share with you, that almost every single day, I hear at least one, if not two of the following song selections, and sometimes I hear them all every day.  These songs are played constantly, and it still surprises me that THESE are the anthems of the California nation:

1. Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden
2. YEAH by Nelly
3. California Love (goes without saying)
4. Anything by Michael Jackson

Oh, and lately I’ve been getting a lot of Betty Davis Eyes, which is ridiculous, being that its just about my favorite song, and it can’t be THAT popular of a tune?

In other news, the other night I attended a 30-man a’capella men’s choir called The Conspiracy of Beards, who performed all Leonard Cohn songs and what a delight! #towerofsong After that I hopped by the Boom Boom Room Hip Hop Open Mic ROTC Cypher, in which I did NOT yet have the balls to jump on the mic, but I feel like we’re getting closer, me and my alternate rapper personas.  I was also blessed by The Funk Hunters live electronic act last weekend, and am heading to get Shpongled by Alex Grey and the family tonight, so all in all things are looking up musically (except for the Nelly song #furreal).

As I get older, I feel less and less inclined to seek out good music (you can’t tell, can you?) and more inclined to stay home and rest in my own gravity.  The music finds me, I don’t have to chase it.  Couchella is looking really good right about now.  I spend more time avoiding bad music than I do seeking out the good.  It’s almost April, and I still feel like the nation is hibernating from the cruelties of winter.  I don’t want to get out of bed; this too shall pass.  And I am okay with going within to find my own muse again, the music on my heart.

On that note, I am working on another album compilation entitled: Ceremony.  No plans on release.  Working out the details, non-the-less on paper, despite some lite depression and misconduct.  Music still has the power to heal, so that’s what we’ll do.

Take for instance, The Flashbulb’s performance at the Community School of Music and Arts Electronic Festival in Mountain View last week was absolutely stunning.  Truly an artist of multi-magnitudes, his music washed over the audience members in waves of perfect harmonies and sound waves, like tuning forks.  Benn Jordan never ceases to amaze.

The evolution of my own knowledge of the history of music and my own music career has always remained a cosmic mystery; a fortunate accident, serendipitous as a hurricane. I merely have stumbled upon some of what I consider to be some of the strangest, most entertaining and healing forces of nature and nature, at least for me.  We, as a species, have mastered the language and coding of the universe for artistic freestyle and play. What better way to turn life into a song, then to just start singing along.

Well there you have it, the latest musical weather report via my small brain.  In-and-out and sometimes upside-down, it’s never a dull moment here in the mind of a MissConception.  Let’s rap about it? Post your own favorite musing below.

Ciao for now darlings,

MissC

30126913_10105650920412159_6141242465169965056_n                                                www.themissconception.com

food, Health, Sacred Space, Uncategorized

Health, Love and Money….

My grandfather always used to say that him and his wife had figured out the success to a happy life and a happy marriage: “Health, love, and money, in that order” he says.

This blog today is to talk about HEALTH, the bases for heaving good love, and good wealth, really, because without a strong sense of health and strength, what good are the other two, anyway?

​I have spent years trying to figure out how to be “healthy”? It seems to be a mysterious far away, lofty ideal that no one has truly mastered.  Some know more than others, but it does come down to truly knowing your own body and lifestyle.

After blowing out my adrenals in college, and burning the candle at both ends, it has taken me at least ten years to catch up on sleep… and to teach myself how to eat PROPERLY and not give into temptation every time cheesecake comes calling.

Something else I’ve realized they don’t teach you in grade school (let alone college) is how and when to take your vitamins.  Now, I do NOT proclaim to be a nutritionist; rather this is simply an example of a regiment that, coupled with proper diet and exercise, can lead to a better you.  At the very least, it’s something to think about.

One really could drive themselves crazy over-thinking when and what to eat with what other food combinations in order to promote the best longevity.  Of course, you have to take into account the fact that some people eat meat, others don’t, some fish only, some vegans, etc…. which some would say might be attributed to blood type. (If you do some research, one will find that type 0 blood type is suggested to eat more meat than others…)

Do what you want with your food life, as long as it works for you.  All of that aside, after suffering some extreme fatigue, I came to discover that I have been prone to bacterial overgrowth that has been destroying all of my nutrients!  These guys, that live in your intestines, eat all of your food before the vitamins can hit the blood stream!  They got out of control because of SURPRISE: Antibiotics!  And it’s been a lot of hard work getting ahead of it, and the proper bacteria back in place via pro-biotics and other vitamins.As I became increasingly aware of what nutrients I was getting, when and from what, and slowly surely, the fatigue cloud is lifting.  Cutting out carbohydrates and glutton helped a lot, along with this powdered herbs I discovered (https://theinterstellarplan.com Discount Code: sg151) which I take daily.  But yes, I have become a slave to my vitamin regiment. When I saw my grandfather’s pill containers as a little girl, I never thought that would be me!  But alas, I have even discovered these tiny Macaron shaped pill containers for travel, that are a stitch.

In the end, it’s not what you carry them with, but it’s what you put into your body that matters, and WHEN!  They don’t tell you in school is that magnesium when taken with other nutrients can prevent them from going into your body, and other tips like this.

I have developed a list below of vitamins, supplements and minerals that I take and at what time.  This is simply based off of some simple google searches and what I determined was best for me.  If you’re serious about your health, then take an hour to look up what vitamins and minerals you are taking and when to take them.

Pro-biotic first thing in the morning along with my maca and interstellar herb tea
METHYL B12 morning under the tongue
Multivitamin Morning pre-meal
B5 with calcium morning meal (three times a day!)
Mineral supplement morning meal (made of dried alfalfa juice and kelp)

Vitamin C twice a day morning meal

Folic Acid morning meal
Fiber mid afternoon (usually in a shake)
B5 with calcium Lunch meal
Dandelion root mid afternoon (sometimes, not always)
Vitamin D evening meal
Vitamin E evening meal
Vitamin C evening meal
B5 with calcium evening meal

After dinner Activated Charcoal (if tummy hurts)

 L-tryosine evening (sometimes)

Zinc before bedtime
Iron before bedtime
Primrose before bedtime
Collagen at Bedtime
Magnesium RIGHT before bed

_________________________________________

On top of the regular self-care supplements I ritualize, then there’s what happens when you get sick.  Many people have posted lately about the flu and colds, and what to do when you fall ill.  Here is my protocol-

Three times a day add in:
Lysine
Echinacea

Golden seal

Turmeric tea with raw honey, hot pepper and lemon

Roasted garlic eat EIGHT cloves straight (delicious on bread) OR cut up raw garlic and swallow two cloves minced whole.

Elderberry Syrup 

Osha Root Tincture

Epsom salt bath with tea tree oil and eucalyptus
Ravansara essential oil under the toes at night before bead

_________________________________________________________

Again, I will say that I am NOT a trained professional, and what is right for me may not be right for you at all depending on your genes, your history and your body type.  Do the research for what is right for you, and always be learning and growing.  It doesn’t hurt to ask.  Feel free to ask away in the comment sections, and together we can find the right resources for any question you might have, or ailment that may be affecting you.  Chances are, there is a natural herb remedy for any symptom that might be afflicting you.  If you ARE going to go the antibiotic way (and certainly there is good use for these types of treatments) BE CAREFUL.  Do the research on how to properly adapt your body into healthy homeostasis before it’s too late.

Remember, that in order to change the world, you first have to change yourself.

MissConcious

 

Evolution, food, Happenings, Holidays

Halfway There – #Whole30

I’ve never been one to jump on the diet bandwagon, so when I started this whole process of ‘cleansing’, I wanted to do it MY way, as I usually do. I had heard a lot about the Whole30 elimination diet, and it just felt right to me at this time, so I jumped in.

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After spending three years being a gypsy wandering Jew nomad, I finally decided to cool off, and with that came a boat load of self-care, grounding and the development of healthy rituals.  Having a low functioning immune system, I can never take too much pre-emptive care of my body (and I can never STRESS enough to young people how important it is to not let your health get away from you.  I sound just like my mother…)  I’ll be the first to tell anyone about the immune boosting properties of elderberry syrup, methal-vitamin-B12, probiotics of course, proper essential oils usage, epsom salt baths, osha root tincture, raw garlic shots, and then these incredible powerful herb blends I’ve been toying with to fight adrenal blow out… check those out here and use my promo code for a discount: sg151 … but that’s all for other blog post.  THIS post, is simply about FOOD.

 

Basically the idea of the program is that you clean out your system, only eating whole, healthy foods for 30 days. That means no sugar, no carbs, no dairy, no additives or preservatives, no alcohol, no THC, basically no toxins. Period. Seemed reasonable enough…. mind you, I was up for a challenge.

It has been years since I decided to really clean my system out… I’d do a week or two here, no alcohol there, but never had I given up dairy and carbs and sugar all at once.

I have to say, this process has been the easiest most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Let me explain.

I’m really mostly an all or nothing kind of girl. Once I set my mind to something, few things can get in my way, except myself, of course. And believe me, I’ve tried to talk myself into quitting since day one… but something tells me this is going to be worth it.

After the ridiculously extravagant holiday season of eating and drinking freely, pared with all the negativity and general malaise that comes with winter time, I decided January 1st to embark on this cleansing journey. Showing up is the hardest part, right? And to show up, you have to prepare.

Never in my life have I been so tied to a food processor. I bought new spices I had never had in my pallet; other ingredients on my grocery list included: ghee, dairy and gluten free mayo, ridiculous amounts of coconut milk and vegetables, and a slew of other foreign ingredients that were permitted. I even bought FRUIT (gasp… I really don’t care for fruit).

One of the illustrated ‘perks’ of this ‘diet’ (and I HATE to call it a diet, because it’s really just eating HEALTHY) is not the emphasis on losing weight, but the focus on reshaping your relationship with food. So far, my shopping skills have improved dramatically, as well as my meal planning, portioning and recipe book. Turns out, cooking HEALTHY is challenging, but I’m enjoying it! And without the alcohol or other distracting activities, there’s not much else to focus on.

While you CAN eat bacon (and I have), this particular meal plan forbids beans or grains of any kind, so no hummus, no quinoa, and no rice, of course. That’s probably the hardest element to overcome… though innately hummus and beans and legumes aren’t BAD for you, the idea is that you are breaking the not-so-good habits that go along with resorting to these simple foods. Rice is an obvious filler to avoid, but with the beans and quinoa, the reason to avoid them is very different:  Quinoa is a seed and contains lectins and saponins which are gut irritants. It also can interfere with absorption of other good nutrients so essentially they get in the way of your healthy digestion. Bye bye hummus 😦 Hello Tahini (recipe below)

Overall, for me personally, the goals are three fold. 1. To break some old habits and form new ones. 2. To reset my digestive system and teach my body how to burn fat differently. 3. To see if the glutton and sugar and dairy buffet I’ve become so accustomed to is what is causing some of my fatigue issues. My doctor said to cut them out for a month, so I’m giving it a go, and long overdue.

Like I said, this has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done… which is why I have to keep going. If my body was THAT addicted to sugar and grains (and I eat pretty healthy generally, without giving it a lot of thought) then think of what it could be doing running at 100%.

It’s been ‘easy’ in a sense that I know in my heart I’ve got to do it. End of story. No questions asked, even when I want to give up, that’s when I have to push harder. And it’s been HARD in all the ways you can imagine… The other night I was dreaming about eating Subway (I don’t even like Subway!) and in my dream I thought “Wait, you can’t eat white bread!” Going to Chipotle (yes, with a little research, you can still eat out) was quite possible the strongest testament of will I have faced yet. If you know me, you know that looking white stuff in the face and saying NO is almost impossible. (I’m talking about Sour Cream, silly. And that blessed cheese… ah, I digress)

But I was able to DO IT. I said no, and I still ate SOMETHING, and I survived. I have to admit I’m getting pretty sick of salad, but it feels good to know what I’m making good choices and not regretting it. Even with the headaches and brain fog and hormones going WACK, it’s still worth it (sorry about that Michael. At least he still likes my cooking…)

Today marks the two week milestone. Two more to go, and I feel like the real work is just beginning. I’ll be traveling these next few weeks, making food prep and planning even harder.

I keep reminding myself that the cravings and strong desires I’m having for CARBS is really my body’s old habits and parasites taking their last breaths. The idea is that my body will start burning FAT instead of sugar/carbs, and I’ll walk away from this with a better attitude about what I put into my body. Big changes, baby steps.

Thank you Adina for inspiring me to take this journey, and for anyone who has shared recipes and ideas on how to make it to the other side. Emily with her cashew cream cheese about saved my life. I found seed crackers, with the cheese and raw salmon and on everything bagel w/ lox and capers craving was at least curbed, for now.

I don’t intend to do this forever. But I welcome some new habits and am excited about making better choices in the future.

I’ll post a few of my favorite recipes below.

If you’re thinking about doing a cleanse, don’t be intimidated. It doesn’t have to be the Whole30 right now. But you should do some research, pick something that sits right for you, and make sure you’re not doing more harm that good. Crash diets don’t work if you just crash and burn right back to your old habits. Self care starts with you wanting to take care of you. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your inner voice… which is a lot easier when you cut out all the crap that was getting in the way.

Bon appetite, ma famille!

Tikka Masala
Buffalo Balls
Homemade Marinera Sauce
Cashew Cream Cheese
Tahini
 paleo-table.jpg
<3,
MissCompost

PS. I MISS CHEESE THE MOST

 

Burn, HappeningsEvents, Sacred Space, social justice

Burners Without Borders

Burners Without Borders, the non profit social justice faction of the Burning Man community, is a huge part of what makes being a burner a GREAT thing in our world.  Most of you are familiar with the ten principles that are guidelines to participating in this culture with compassion.  This time of year, gifting, radical inclusion, immediacy and communal effort are all a big  part of taking care of our community, while we also have some fun!

Being homeless in the winter could be compared to camping at Black Rock in the cold, except often those who are homeless don’t know where to get food or warmth because they don’t have a neighbor with a big pot of chili and a fire to share. Their coat and socks may be wet and there’s no way to get them dry.  There are many little items things this that we can donate and give directly to the homeless, like camping gear, clean and dry socksc meals, coats, hats and gloves, to help ease the difficulties of winter in the Midwest.

Guess what?  The Midwest regional burn INTERFUSE is having a kick-off party in Kansas City in January and the event is called IGNITION!  At the event happening on January 20th, at Prohibition Hall in Kansas City we are collecting these items listed below to help those in need.  Save the date and start planning what you can give.

Here is a complete list of what we are collecting:

Fall & winter clothing – coats, jackets, pants, long sleeve shirts, flannel, coveralls, shoes/boots, socks, undies (these need to be new), gloves, scarves, hats, handwarmers, tarps, blankets, sleeping bags and bed rolls.

Toiletries – toothpaste, toothbrushes, mouthwash, soap, deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, chapstick, tp, lady items – travel sizes work well.

Food items – anything individual serving – oatmeal packets, hot chocolate packets, granola bars, peanut butter, fruit cups, cup of soup, etc.

Another idea: You can keep these types of items in your car along with bottled water and give them out to people that they meet as well who might be in need.  Being a burner isn’t just about GOING to a burn, but it’s about taking our beloved principles and kindness out into the world and spreading that love to those around us.

One point of sensitivity is to always be very gentle and when offering these items.  Never assume that anybody needs anything, but rather, just suggest that you are there handing out items to anyone around, and let the recipient pick what they want to take, with dignity.

Thank you for accepting this mission, and BWB looks forward to seeing you at the Ignition event in January.  Make sure you join the Interfuse facebook page to stay up to date and participate in our Midwest Burners BWB group: Burners without Borders heartland working group.

If all of this burner jargon isn’t making much sense, check out the Burning Man website and see where you can get involved!

For more information on the Ignition collection drive, please contact ​Amber Andkazi at Pogothepit1@yahoo.com.

<3,
MissCulture