Uncategorized

Hair Piece

“Haters mean you’re doing something right, right?”

It’s funny how often I feel misunderstood… I think we all do. When I choose the name MissConception as an artist alias, the WHOLE idea was that I was to exist as a means of bridging the gap between the understandable and the unexplainable. To walk that scary line between equality and injustice; I am the oxymoron, and often people do not like what they cannot understand.

It has been brought to my attention that an angry person has been saying unkind and unjust things about my character, my intentions, and last of all, my hair, so I wanted to take an opportunity to break down a few things, ya know, for the record.

For starters, I fell in love with the women’s hair industry in 2009 when the documentary “Good Hair” by Chris Rock came out and I thought, WOW, I never knew hair could be so artistic! I had always been eccentric with my look, and as a performance artist, I often regularly braided in feathers and ribbons to add flair. When a friend of mind who braided African hair styles offered to braid my hair properly, I jumped at the opportunity and thus began my LOVE and adoration for the weave. I’ve tried many different styles, box braids, crochet, dreads (yes, real ones!) and have come to prefer cornrows with braided in lock extensions over any other hairstyle. It is truly a LUXURY that only occasionally do I treat myself to, and has brought upon a whole new level of awareness about hair and style for me.


I Am Not My Hair – India Arie feat. Akon

Every time I see another person with a weave I get a little giggly inside. “Does she like my hair? Does she hate it? Do I look stupid? Does she know?? She must know. SHE looks like a GODDESS! Am I pissing people off by having my hair done? Is it a ‘waste of money’? It sure makes me feel like a million dollars fabulous. Confidence is key right, especially in the events industry. Oh yes, it is itchy, I’m glad you asked…”. All of these things go through my mind daily when battling insecurities, those of your own are usually too much to bare, let alone an outsider offering their critical scrutiny.

But do I complain? No. Do I dismiss those that do not understand my look or style? NO. Do I seek to understand and spread understanding around what it means to be an artist in the modern world, explaining that IT’S OK to adopt other styles and techniques that work for you, as long as it’s done with integrity and respect? YES. The goal is to keep the conversation going, and if that’s what my hair is doing, even for small minds, so be it.

When I have my weave, I feel MORE like me than any other hair style I’ve ever had, and that to me is a blessing to feel that comfortable in my own skin; skin that is so often admonished and debated, wether or not my skin has “permission” to wear or say or do anything – is of no one else’s right to determine.

I love the African American hair braiding industry and I am happy to support that culture financially and artistically. I hardly even GET my hair cut and cringe at the idea of $100 hair cut and dyes, but I’m thrilled to give my money to someone who creates a work of art.

I do hope that I am not offending anyone with my display of creativity and freedom, but rather am inspiring others to do what makes them happy to. Learn about the intention. Learn about the history and then respectfully pay tribute to past creators, … As with anything that walks that line of appropriation, as long as it’s done out of kindness and understanding and not vengeance, there is at the least room for a dialogue.

So, to the women who called me a “clout hound (had to look that one up) pretty cringe person who’s insisting on being a white girl with box braids dreads,” I say to you, on the record:

I will continue to braid my hair when appropriate, to enjoy it and bask in the glow of feeling fabulous, confident and content in my own skin, if ONLY so that I may be an example for you and others on how to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY while not giving a flying FUCK about what anyone else thinks. Thanks for the inspiration. THIS is why I make art. And I hope that you can find some peace in your heart for that which you do not understand. Our world literally DEPENDS on this.

Poetry for Personal Power 2012 “Hair Piece” Spoken Word Piece:

“Honoring culture and where we each came from. Because some of our evolution as a people involves choosing what works for each of us and what doesn’t.“

Love allways,
MissDreamWeaver

Burn, Evolution, Sacred Space, Uncategorized

Burning Manners

When someone asks you “what’s your favorite city”, you can bet your bottom dollar that anybody who has ever been to Burning Man undoubtedly will come out with “Black Rock City, is my favorite city”.   Anyone who disagrees, I’m guessing that it USED to be their favorite city, and then the cultural direction shifted.  Now what? 

Oh, how we let our cities define us.  The culture we create is directly and deeply interwoven with each city’s unique personality, as in any culture or group of people.  We used to have our culture and communities be the focal point from which to dictate our whole lives and interactions.  Ceremonies and celebrations were timed by the moon and nature’s seasonal flow.  Our communities WERE our education systems, our entertainment forms, and the workforce.  WE were the ECONOMY… the economy didn’t define us.  

Fast forward to 2019, we couldn’t be further away from that model of life.  They say that a tribe usually consists of about 256 people.  That’s how many people one person actively keep track of, sincerely.   5,000 is the friends limit on Facebook, and to be honest I don’t know who most of you are anyway.  Staying in touch has become so impersonal, we tend to fill up our cups with meaningless banter and scroll-past memes mores than genuine human interaction, whereas at Burning Man, it’s quite the opposite.  The emphasis is on the human interaction and not so much on their credibility (who you are and where you’re from).  The truly ironic thing about living in the Bay Area, which so happens to be the headquarters of the Burning Man office and social climate, is that we’re surrounded by all this culture, but there’s very little real community.  There’s no village, no hub, no center camp for which to commune.  And that’s making it really difficult for millennials (and everyone else dare I say) to make friends and have a life outside of work, let alone raise children.

I want my “Cheers” damnit.  I want my village.  My vibe tribe. I want my center camp at which to commune twice a day.  I want to build a new city, and one that doesn’t have to go away after ten days. 

Co-creating, the ultimate mission, is our lot in life.  At Burning Man, everything is in a constant state of creation; of evolution.  Art, is how you create culture and evolve it.  Inventing new concepts and revisiting the old.  Rewriting the rules as we see fit.  Why not? If gravity changed, wouldn’t you adjust as best you could?  One could say that the same thing is happening with evolution itself…it’s moving faster than we can document or understand, and possibly moving us back towards old ways of life. That is hard to suppress or make sense of for some of us.  Sure, some people would prefer to stay ignorant and “asleep”, while the rest of us, are slowly waking you up.   Which life are you living? 

It’s no secret, Burning Man is on the forefront of creating and defining culture, in a new sense. Like a quantum particle, always changing, always desecrating and then recreating itself different and better; we have continued to ebb and flow with the changing dynamic that is human existence.  Now, our mission is to change the culture. 

So what exactly does it mean to change the culture?  To push the envelope of precipice?  To actively seek out the new and refine it, while still relating to the old…. It’s quite a lot to carry, that’s for sure.  Especially when met with so much resistance.  

The Ten Principles of Burning Man have helped us understand what it means to be a part of a culture and to change it.  That can look like simply participating, actively or showing up, even for the messy part. It can mean being self-reliant and self-expressive, even at the expense of being misunderstood .  It means taking chances where no one said it was possible; isn’t that what we are all here to do?  

Speaking of the impossible, in the Bay Area community, many reflect upon the somewhat recently shattered communities: Ghost Ship and Paradise Fire.  Here we saw very vibrant cohabitation brought down to nothing but ash.  The community took action.  A few months later, FEMA “stepped in” to ASK some of the active Burners Without Borders leaders and for advice. “What do we do?” they asked. With no money and no resources. “Help.”  There’s more to that story I don’t know all the details, but it sets the stage for our collective power and wisdom that could be the change many of us are seeking, if we are brave enough to face it.  When there is a task to do, Burners can figure it out and get it done; and then light it on fire if need be.  

It’s a delicate place to be. Abiding by our principles, we have to be careful not to exclude anybody or anything.  Where does that leave us when people mess up or disagree?   Perhaps it’s possible to shift what change looks like:

Let’s take the Tenderloin district in San Francisco’s downtown. Some say the Tenderloin got it’s name because street dwellers and slingers used to bribe the San Francisco police department with steaks and other cuts of meat in order for them to keep their mouths shut and turn a blind eye.  (How do you even fact check this? I didn’t; it’s too funny)

Today, walking through the Tenderloin is like walking through the worst horror movie ever written.  It’s a living nightmare.  I was driving through the streets a few weeks ago and I saw a lively dark skinned man shaking a paint can vigorously with a large group around him.  I looked closer, expecting to see him huffing paint, but as the moment passed I could see he was indeed spray painting on the wall behind him, telling stories to go with the motions.  People gathered round and listened with interest and desire for human interaction written on their faces and I thought to myself,  “THAT is how you change the culture.  With art. You rewrite the stories with new lessons, and the art is what allows people to HEAR those messages”  

So what if Burning Man is holding the spray can, or the paint brush?  What if it’s our turn to rewrite this story of love and kindness and truth?  What if we could teach the world how to live together in peace in tribes? How to share and learn from each other and live with art and fun as our focus instead of fear and anger. 

Burning Man is no stranger to art.  But how do we harness the art? What ARE we trying to say?  Personally, what are the conversations we need to have in our lives to deal with our criticisms and understand the other side?  We cannot keep going down this anti-global-warming rabbit hole for a second longer.  

If I have learned a few things about my time with Burning Man and developing my own leadership skills around community organizing, I can say this: Don’t start the fight if you’re not willing to be the bigger person.  Don’t let the need to be right over shadow the desire to get along.

“Being offended should always be the beginning of a conversation, not the end of it,” Said Jamie Dewolf of Tourettes Without Regrets, the legendary variety show in Oakland, CA.

And I am here, to piss you off.  To challenge you. In order to push the envelope, we must first open it!

My grandfather always told me, “we’re not arguing, we are brainstorming”.  

So, let the brainstorms begin.  And the action to follow.  Tell me, what are you purveying?

MissConiption

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Uncategorized

In a year’s time.

It ebbs and flows, the nature of all systems. After being stuck in a rut for the past, oh, one to six years dare I say, it appears this month I’ve begun to blossom back into the highly creative functioning state I’m used to, which is a blessing and a bit of an OCD curse. This energy and attitude is light years improvement from where I’ve come from on this past ride around the sun, and what a year it has been. This city chose me thankfully and didn’t spit me back out, yet. I’ve been here for close to a year, it’s mindful to think about what can and cannot happen in a year. What you can accomplish; what you can leave. Where you’re stuck or where you’re wasting your time, or better yet, growing. 


You get 52 weekends. 110 free evenings to pick and choose as you please. A handful of weekday excursions or yoga classes and how many grocery store runs? How many bonfires? Stolen Glances? Surprise sunrise relationships… Which lead to how many interactions? Countless. Thousands. Millions of ripples exhaling sometimes all at once around you. 365 nights to dream. Three hundred and something showers. So many plane rides, some of us more than the others. Never enough kisses, universally. But enough to get by. For now.

Ahhh, the power of love. 



It’s true, I have fallen in love with life again, with myself and maybe a few other souls, too. And just as much as I’ve loved I’ve lost. They go hand in hand. I’ve also been too hard on myself. Judging. Cringing. Overlooking. I’ve been uninhibited, for better or worse. Letting it all hang out. And I’ve been shut down. Deeply sad and unhinged at times. 

While, I am fullfilled in my heart, I’ve never been fulfilled to the brink of complete comfort. On the brink of utter extinction. My life is a paycheck or accident away from righteous ruin. Seconds away from accidents on highways of life paved with good intentions and bad decisions. Every choice I’ve made came with a consequence. Now I’m just enjoying the ride. It’s too late to change trajectories without great disturbance. Don’t risk derailment. And I’ve started to rather enjoy this rhythm, despite how far up and down it can go. You can’t feel it all without choosing it all, and I chose to feel everything. My path has been a rough ride, though not nearly as tough as many others. I asked for this. I fought for it. And now it is my truth. Undeniable. Sometimes unreliable. Sometimes criable. I have been blessed with truth. 



Still, the glass is half full, or half empty depending on the day. I’m half full and half empty, on the regular. Most days it’s a lot of both. So much gladness and so much pain all the the same time, it’s hard to refrain from being angry, or depressed and having the best night of your life at the same time. Take another shot of medicine and hope for the best. Dance. Think about Trying to clean up our mess. Make something into a better place, even if it’s just our minds, temporarily. I surrender.



As I come more and more into orbit with my own essence and flavor, it becomes apparent that while I can see my own gifts and strengths loud and clear, I cannot exactly define them, or explain them with any sense of logic or reasonable defense. It a true phenomena. The unexplainable things I have seen. My faith is blind. And yet I see this path so clearly; I must blaze on, this mission or calling or whatever the fuck this mission is that haunts me at night. My eyes are open. My heart Is open. I would never wish to unsee, no matter how grotesque or surreal.



To be truly elated to be alive and to have had another year gone by with some obvious perspective shifts, and at the same time to be so alone is one of the hardest juxtapositions to face, and yet it builds strength. Character is told over time and time will read true on your face, dimples and pock marks in all. 



While my scars define me… For the first time in 8 years probably I feel like I am moving back into alignment with my true being. This time, I’m going to try and own it. Not fuck it up. And not care what anyone else thinks. Especially not give my power and attention away to anyone who isn’t reciprocating in a healthy way. 



I do want to always be sure to give thanks to my guides and teachers of wisdom, who have led me by the hand oh so bravely into the darkness in order to spread light.

Ok that note, If YOU ever need to someone to guide the way for you, be it through emotional or physical or spiritual journeying, may I be so honored to pay that light forward.


Sometimes, in order to answer your own question, all you need to do is ask.

MissComeOn

10111698-E8EC-4E8F-9DDD-8F5B714EE492

Uncategorized

This Just In-and-Out Magic Music Revue

This post is dedicated to all the rail riders out there. You know who you are. 

Over the years I feel as though I’ve become a bit of a jaded, music snob, almost proudly so.  I found my tastes, explored them, and am fairly certain I know what I like. I don’t want to go listen to some random rock band that practices in their moms garage anymore, or some undereducated over-hyphed freshman DJ that just discovered Serato. I want quality.  I want to dance. I want my jams. And I want to get home by midnight.

Coming from the Midwest and having spend some significant months in California as of late, the music scene has been a pivotal point of interest for me.  I promote, I perform, I work production. I LOVE to dance!  People notice when you show up, which has afforded me to participate at some very highly sought out events and venues.  Working your ass off in an industry that’s thankless is worth the heart and sweat you put in, though sometimes thankless.  Needless to say, there is nothing quite like being put on the guest list.  I love the nightlife.  I live for the music industry, in so many ways.

But this blog is not to brag or complain, merely to admire… admiration for the classy, yet simple tastes of many Californians; it is to be heralded and humbling, coming from a Kansas Girl.  The songs out here that have taken center stage in my field of noticeable discretion are interesting in all kinds of ways.

Turning the dial on the radio station happens to be one of my favorite activities over the years, and it never fails to entertain my tired eyes and ears.  Random little tastes of classic rock, weather reports and christian gangster rap songs that I would never even know to look up is quite amusing.  And there is something so powerful about knowing you are listening to the same song with hundreds, maybe thousands of others.  All singing along.  All feeling those feels.  There’s power in inclusion.  No two harmonies ever the same.

I will say that cruising around the Bay Area, sun roof open, heated seats on, listening to songs old and new, has brought me a sense of comfort that would digest most.  Spending time in the car is not an optimal way to pass time, however for me, my car has been my home for three years, and these songs, have been the soundtrack to my life.  Both the car and the music are a point of nostalgia, that is intragal to any positive musical experience.

Now, let me share with you, that almost every single day, I hear at least one, if not two of the following song selections, and sometimes I hear them all every day.  These songs are played constantly, and it still surprises me that THESE are the anthems of the California nation:

1. Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden
2. YEAH by Nelly
3. California Love (goes without saying)
4. Anything by Michael Jackson

Oh, and lately I’ve been getting a lot of Betty Davis Eyes, which is ridiculous, being that its just about my favorite song, and it can’t be THAT popular of a tune?

In other news, the other night I attended a 30-man a’capella men’s choir called The Conspiracy of Beards, who performed all Leonard Cohn songs and what a delight! #towerofsong After that I hopped by the Boom Boom Room Hip Hop Open Mic ROTC Cypher, in which I did NOT yet have the balls to jump on the mic, but I feel like we’re getting closer, me and my alternate rapper personas.  I was also blessed by The Funk Hunters live electronic act last weekend, and am heading to get Shpongled by Alex Grey and the family tonight, so all in all things are looking up musically (except for the Nelly song #furreal).

As I get older, I feel less and less inclined to seek out good music (you can’t tell, can you?) and more inclined to stay home and rest in my own gravity.  The music finds me, I don’t have to chase it.  Couchella is looking really good right about now.  I spend more time avoiding bad music than I do seeking out the good.  It’s almost April, and I still feel like the nation is hibernating from the cruelties of winter.  I don’t want to get out of bed; this too shall pass.  And I am okay with going within to find my own muse again, the music on my heart.

On that note, I am working on another album compilation entitled: Ceremony.  No plans on release.  Working out the details, non-the-less on paper, despite some lite depression and misconduct.  Music still has the power to heal, so that’s what we’ll do.

Take for instance, The Flashbulb’s performance at the Community School of Music and Arts Electronic Festival in Mountain View last week was absolutely stunning.  Truly an artist of multi-magnitudes, his music washed over the audience members in waves of perfect harmonies and sound waves, like tuning forks.  Benn Jordan never ceases to amaze.

The evolution of my own knowledge of the history of music and my own music career has always remained a cosmic mystery; a fortunate accident, serendipitous as a hurricane. I merely have stumbled upon some of what I consider to be some of the strangest, most entertaining and healing forces of nature and nature, at least for me.  We, as a species, have mastered the language and coding of the universe for artistic freestyle and play. What better way to turn life into a song, then to just start singing along.

Well there you have it, the latest musical weather report via my small brain.  In-and-out and sometimes upside-down, it’s never a dull moment here in the mind of a MissConception.  Let’s rap about it? Post your own favorite musing below.

Ciao for now darlings,

MissC

30126913_10105650920412159_6141242465169965056_n                                                www.themissconception.com

food, Health, Sacred Space, Uncategorized

Health, Love and Money….

My grandfather always used to say that him and his wife had figured out the success to a happy life and a happy marriage: “Health, love, and money, in that order” he says.

This blog today is to talk about HEALTH, the bases for heaving good love, and good wealth, really, because without a strong sense of health and strength, what good are the other two, anyway?

​I have spent years trying to figure out how to be “healthy”? It seems to be a mysterious far away, lofty ideal that no one has truly mastered.  Some know more than others, but it does come down to truly knowing your own body and lifestyle.

After blowing out my adrenals in college, and burning the candle at both ends, it has taken me at least ten years to catch up on sleep… and to teach myself how to eat PROPERLY and not give into temptation every time cheesecake comes calling.

Something else I’ve realized they don’t teach you in grade school (let alone college) is how and when to take your vitamins.  Now, I do NOT proclaim to be a nutritionist; rather this is simply an example of a regiment that, coupled with proper diet and exercise, can lead to a better you.  At the very least, it’s something to think about.

One really could drive themselves crazy over-thinking when and what to eat with what other food combinations in order to promote the best longevity.  Of course, you have to take into account the fact that some people eat meat, others don’t, some fish only, some vegans, etc…. which some would say might be attributed to blood type. (If you do some research, one will find that type 0 blood type is suggested to eat more meat than others…)

Do what you want with your food life, as long as it works for you.  All of that aside, after suffering some extreme fatigue, I came to discover that I have been prone to bacterial overgrowth that has been destroying all of my nutrients!  These guys, that live in your intestines, eat all of your food before the vitamins can hit the blood stream!  They got out of control because of SURPRISE: Antibiotics!  And it’s been a lot of hard work getting ahead of it, and the proper bacteria back in place via pro-biotics and other vitamins.As I became increasingly aware of what nutrients I was getting, when and from what, and slowly surely, the fatigue cloud is lifting.  Cutting out carbohydrates and glutton helped a lot, along with this powdered herbs I discovered (https://theinterstellarplan.com Discount Code: sg151) which I take daily.  But yes, I have become a slave to my vitamin regiment. When I saw my grandfather’s pill containers as a little girl, I never thought that would be me!  But alas, I have even discovered these tiny Macaron shaped pill containers for travel, that are a stitch.

In the end, it’s not what you carry them with, but it’s what you put into your body that matters, and WHEN!  They don’t tell you in school is that magnesium when taken with other nutrients can prevent them from going into your body, and other tips like this.

I have developed a list below of vitamins, supplements and minerals that I take and at what time.  This is simply based off of some simple google searches and what I determined was best for me.  If you’re serious about your health, then take an hour to look up what vitamins and minerals you are taking and when to take them.

Pro-biotic first thing in the morning along with my maca and interstellar herb tea
METHYL B12 morning under the tongue
Multivitamin Morning pre-meal
B5 with calcium morning meal (three times a day!)
Mineral supplement morning meal (made of dried alfalfa juice and kelp)

Vitamin C twice a day morning meal

Folic Acid morning meal
Fiber mid afternoon (usually in a shake)
B5 with calcium Lunch meal
Dandelion root mid afternoon (sometimes, not always)
Vitamin D evening meal
Vitamin E evening meal
Vitamin C evening meal
B5 with calcium evening meal

After dinner Activated Charcoal (if tummy hurts)

 L-tryosine evening (sometimes)

Zinc before bedtime
Iron before bedtime
Primrose before bedtime
Collagen at Bedtime
Magnesium RIGHT before bed

_________________________________________

On top of the regular self-care supplements I ritualize, then there’s what happens when you get sick.  Many people have posted lately about the flu and colds, and what to do when you fall ill.  Here is my protocol-

Three times a day add in:
Lysine
Echinacea

Golden seal

Turmeric tea with raw honey, hot pepper and lemon

Roasted garlic eat EIGHT cloves straight (delicious on bread) OR cut up raw garlic and swallow two cloves minced whole.

Elderberry Syrup 

Osha Root Tincture

Epsom salt bath with tea tree oil and eucalyptus
Ravansara essential oil under the toes at night before bead

_________________________________________________________

Again, I will say that I am NOT a trained professional, and what is right for me may not be right for you at all depending on your genes, your history and your body type.  Do the research for what is right for you, and always be learning and growing.  It doesn’t hurt to ask.  Feel free to ask away in the comment sections, and together we can find the right resources for any question you might have, or ailment that may be affecting you.  Chances are, there is a natural herb remedy for any symptom that might be afflicting you.  If you ARE going to go the antibiotic way (and certainly there is good use for these types of treatments) BE CAREFUL.  Do the research on how to properly adapt your body into healthy homeostasis before it’s too late.

Remember, that in order to change the world, you first have to change yourself.

MissConcious

 

Uncategorized

Me Too, Me Too

In light of the recent #metoo phenomenon across the Internet, where woman and men of all kinds are coming forward with their stories on sexual assault and harassment, I thought I would try and tackle this delicate subject, from a warrior perspective.

I’ve heard a lot of stories of how they people have been hurt and taken advantage of; it has taken much of bravery and compassion, to voice these stories, and also to hear these stories.  To validate them, is equally as necessary as telling them.

What I haven’t heard much talk of, is the “NOW WHAT?”.  How do we address and maybe change these cultural norms we have created?

In recent conversations about consent and male/female relations, someone spoke of a situation in a festival environment when a male attendee was being too aggressive with females at the event (tale old as time).  The way the event staff handled the situation, was as such: they took the identified males and the identified females into separate rooms as groups, and had a conversation.  For the men, they spoke of the issue itself, while not calling any individual out, and the conversation concerned how they, as males, can retain their masculinity without alienating the women; without using force to feel heard.  They men didn’t WANT to come off that way, generally, and it was learning experience for most.

The real learning however, came with the females, who spoke instead of the problem, of the solution.  They discussed how they could as a group band together and not allow this kind of behavior to continue, let alone affect them negatively, any longer.  They rallied as warriors. They worked on EMPOWERMENT.  They discussed specific language to use to nip that degrading behavior in the bud before it could become a problem, moving forward.  They took an interesting, and some would say risky approach to an ever-evolving issue, and their methods worked.  The women became incredibly empowered throughout the rest of the weekend, and there were no more issues with either gender taking advantage of power or sex.

(These conversations become even more convoluted with the pronoun discussion.  Not everyone identifies as male or female, and no one should HAVE to identify as anything.  All in all, in your community, we MUST become more aware and respectful of these cultural evolutions. You don’t have to understand it, but you do need to respect that people are pressing the envelope when it comes to sexuality and identity.  These conversations are important.)

I conceptualized this article because, though I have some slight experienced an unwanted advantages – a pat on the ass at a drunken bar, and cat calls on the street –  I have come out mostly unscathed.

My whole life, my family has stressed:  “carry your mace”, “don’t want down the street alone at night,” “be careful when you go to your car,” and always the questions over “how do you feel safe at night when you’re leaving the bar alone” etc.

I was raised to believe that “attitude is everything”.  They say that aggressors prey on the meek.  The weak.

I have intuitively always approached these seemingly “scary” situations as opportunities… to be brave, to be strong and to teach others subconsciously HOW to walk down a dark street alone at night and NOT GET FUCKED WITH.

First of all, YOU LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE.  I eye mug every single person on any given block I’m on, constantly.  Not in a paranoid way, but in an inquisitive and slightly magical way that says “hey, I see you, I get it, and it’s great to meet you here on this earth”.  I look people in the eye, with meaning, with a smile and with a maybe slightly crazy approach… maybe, just maybe, I’m just as bat shit crazy as they are?  Nobody fucks with bat shit.

I say hello, and when I am responded to with comments like “oh, baby are you married”. I boldly and loudly go “Nope, but my boyfriend might propose any day now” or some other quick-witted response.   Always with a smile.  Sometimes with a laugh or a genuine “Hey man, you have a great day.  Love those shoes” .

I am aggressive. I am abrasive. I do not shy away.  And I also do not look back.

When someone cat calls me, I smile nod, look them in the eye and KEEP WALKING.  No attention given what-so-ever to the cat call.

Now some of you might argue that I’m not teaching a lesson to the predator in that situation, but safety first, my friends.  The lesson can come in obvious time.  If every victimized or approached person was able to be brave, maybe just maybe some of these predators might get the message.  That is NOT how you speak to a lady, or a gentleman.

I hesitated to touch on this, because, no, I have not had any severely threatening experiences. It hasn’t happened to me, whether that be good luck or my unabashed attitude.

My unafraid, and perhaps somewhat idealistic approach, is not backed up without logistics. I still cary my mace.  I still keep my keys between my fingers like a weapon.  I still look around like a crazy person every single step, to make sure I am not being followed or taken off-guard.  I am present.

Most importantly, I AM NOT AFRAID.  Getting out of my car, sometimes the only alone female person in a rough neighborhood in the inner-city, headed to a hip hop concert, I take a deep breath, I look everyone in the eye I pass on the street, LIKE THEY MATTER, and I try and envision a bubble of safety around me in moments where I might feel particularly threatened.

As I often tell myself on road trips, you must see yourself making it safely to your destination, to have any chance of making it safely to begin with.

Keep being brave out there with your stories.  Keep telling them honestly, and letting it be known that WE as HUMANS (not as males, or females) will NOT STAND FOR INJUSTICE ANY LONGER.  We will speak out. We will say #metoo until the message is heard and until absuse is no longer tolerated.  And we WILL continue to talk openly about how to break down these cultural ‘normals’.

What do you do to protect yourself from unwanted attention?

What do you to stay brave in a situation that encounters fear?

How are you actively changing the paradigm?
Love, all ways,
MissConviction.

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Cliche Blog Post

Never a dull moment in a day in the life of… any of us really.  I thought it due time for a little update on my status quo.  So here ya go:

It’s official… I have moved to California to live at a naturist community and am selling granola.  Go figure.

Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you could certainly look at it that way, with a cliche spin.

I have found myself in the Bay Area, living part time at the Lupin Lodge, working for a company who makes high-end crunchy almond snacks, and yes, it is just as glamorous as everyone thinks. And expensive.  But totally doable.  (I’m still working out the kinks.)

Speaking of kinks, just last night I, for the first time in my life, made a skunk spray.  Luckily it wasn’t anywhere near me, but it’s always been a life goal, to see a skunk spray his stuff, and wow, was he just as surprised as I was!  If the skunks weren’t so damn cute, I don’t think it would be as exciting.  (Photos coming soon!)

Between the skunks, the deer, the bees, and all of the exciting naturist wildlife, there are also the fires.  The smell of smoke is often in the air, mixed with the smog, it’s hard to tell the two apart.  And while I know there is great sadness, loss and destruction, with the fires also come rebirth.

I’ve learned recently, that in heavily forested areas, the Natives (before we took their land away of course) used to do controlled burns regularly, to clear out the heavy underbrush, so that when lightening or fire embers struck, there was nothing to burn.  A tree would get singed and that was it.  No kindling.

Unfortunately, controlled burns are illegal now, thanks to the “save the trees” movement, I am told, nobody is allowed to preserve the land on a large level by sacrificing the small plants.  Ironic how that goes. We take the land away, then it gets taken away from us.

“The land doesn’t belong to us, we belong to the land.”

“Home is where the heart is.”

And yes, I’ve clearly drank the cool-aid and am ready to put a flower in my hair and call it a day.  Welcome to the West coast.

One thing to note about California living… it’s ELECTRIC.  The energy in the air, in the people, in the music, in the food.  Everything about it is energizing and educational. I am learning SO MUCH.  I am changing SO MUCH.  And I am giving back as MUCH AS I possibly can.

It’s still a struggle every day, but when isn’t life. I am grateful to be learning the lessons the hard way, and to be sharing my gifts with a new community.  That is a true blessings, to be able to be MYSELF and not feel judged one bit.  WHAT A RELEIF.

I love you all, and hope this update has been anything but typical, despite all the cliches.

Sincerely,

MissCliche.
www.themissconception.com