Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2014 by missconceptionaly

intense or violent pain and struggle, especially accompanying birth, death, or great change.

It’s felt a lot like a heart infection, lately.

The last weeks have been filled with awe and horror. Just around every corner something different pulls at my heart strings. More and more I hear people asking for help… still even more, denying they need it. Confusion… sorrow… pain fills the air and tension swirls about. Two high school girls committed suicide last weekend in Olathe. An email came from a good friend telling me something she “thought I needed to know”, and it wasn’t pretty. I’ve become terrified of the cold weather. Life really feels like it keeps getting more and more difficult…hopeless… and the plot thickens. And the world turns. And here we are…

We’re in America for God’s sake! Still living in a world where marriage may or may not be sanctioned depending on what ground you stand. Where plants may or may not be legit. Where politicians know nothing about the people they are governing and somebody is always paying for someone else’s mistakes.

So much unhappiness. So much anger. So much confusion.

And yes there is still joy…. but why do we tend to remember the bad things more vividly?

You know that feeling when you started something…

and then somebody takes it away from you…

Loving somebody so much you suffocate them.

Having no voice.

Having a voice

And not being able to use it.

Having a voice and being misunderstood.

Watching the movie alone that you were supposed to watch together.

Watching the news




In a Crowd. In a city. Full of people.

Being the butt of a joke

Everyone looking and laughing,

Even if it’s just inside your own head.

It still hurts. It’s still REAL.

It hurts like hell to love someone… it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do unconditionally.

I’ve found loneliness is the number one cause of emotional suffering. Despite our gadgets to keep us together, we’re all more isolated than ever. iThink it’s more comfortable to iTune everyone out. It’s never before crossed my mind that some problems can’t be fixed. Lately, the jaded truth tastes more bitter than I care to admit.

“If you move fast enough nobody will see your flaws”, so I tend to keep busy. Make plans. Schedule the calendar. Something to look forward to. Always looking ahead. Where is the next best thing? Nirvana is just on the horizon, now if I could just get over this hill… ok, maybe not quite so fast. The closer you get to the top, the farther the way down becomes.

Speaking of Nirvana, I’ve recently become fascinated by Kurt Cobain. Grasping widely for inspiration, I picked up a copy of his journal, and what a trip to be given a glimpse to someone’s mind such as this lead singer icon. Highly creative. Highly tortured.

Tis the portrait of the artist to paint the fortune of the heartless, and he painted it well. Without much reason other than it’s what has to be done. Ani Difranco says “Art is why we get up in the morning…but my definition ends there, you know it doesn’t seem fair that I’m living for something I can’t even define…and there you are right there in the meantime”.

Safe to say, Kurt Cobain and THIS SONG by Laydeefish have saved my life this week. Sometimes it’s about finding that one thing that speaks to you and holding on. When you get to the end of your rope, they say to tie a knot and cope… only to have to untangle it all again later. Is that what we do as humans? Create messy dramas for ourselves to clean up in order to keep occupied? Is this what we’ve come to? A roller coaster ride gone off the tracks… delving into the throes of ecstatic evolution one suicide at a time? Trapped inside our own minds.

Ozark Mountain Dare Devils say “To get to heaven, you have to raise a little hell”

Hell has been raised, and as we look towards our Nirvana… what IS it that we want? What environment do YOU want to live in? How much love do you want to embody? What is our narrative of self love? How much kindness can you show yourself? What is your life plan and how are you executing it?


The End of an Era

Posted in Uncategorized on October 27, 2014 by missconceptionaly

“If we weren’t tortured, we wouldn’t be artists”

… this statement just came to me recently. Pairing it with at all the boldest cliches, it’s easy to say that change is a HARD, inevitable and, dare I say, a good thing?

All things change. The more they change the more they tend to remain the same…. “to every thing there is a season”… yet we still remain terrified of the unknown. Safe in our comfort zones, I am once again reminded that pushing the envelope never comes without the growing pains of life. And while nobody really WANTS to grow up, there is something awfully seductive about feeling confident, competent and on top of your game.

Recently, I have made one of the most difficult decisions in my artist career; to shut down a physical portion of a very large, tangible project I have been working on for years. The illustrious “Vibe Tribe” will no longer be operating as an art studio on 55th and Troost. At this point, It is something that I sadly, must let go.

WHY, the people ask me with a hope in their wide eyes of salvation, “WHY would you do such a thing to such a positive institution?” And the answer to that is multi-faceted, to say the least….

For perspective: Pre-Vibe Tribe, a bunch of local artists worked a brief stint with a rascally collective arts troupe The Wonderful Travels of Mr. 9 Starring community members: Brian Maloney (Mr 9 himself), Madame Magic, Chumsey the Clown, Chad Mustard, Ziggy the Hoop Dancer, Surka Noelle, Harmony Lovellution and more, we donned an incredible office space just above the Coffee Wonk on 35 and Broadway. Crumbling almost as fast as we combined forces, the collective arts space/workshop/recording studio/sewing studio/flop-house disintegrated before it could ever grow roots. It ended tragically, and from it bore Dumptruck Butterlips and the VibeTribe of KC, amongst other projects. We hit the ground running!

Officially deeming ourselves the “Vibe Tribe” in 2011, we gained momentum after our first large-scale event, Kanrocksas, at the KS Speedway. I made a brick-ton of business cards, and it felt legit. And we had FUN! Performing at all kinds of regional music festivals (Wakarusa) and local Kansas City events, we were ravers, we were hippies, we were rockstars, and we were loving it.

In October of 2012, we took over 5504 Troost in the heart of Kansas City. Our landlord, a huge supporter of the arts and Vibe Tribe, asked me what I needed to take a step forward with this project. Recalling past performance spaces (Mr 9, Yosh’s Loft, Emerald City‘s Artmosphere and Ubuntu being of the most influential), I requested a SPACE, in which to store all this STUFF we were accumulating, and to have meetings and workshops and classes. We needed a center of operations, a home base, a club-house, and like magic the Vibe Tribe came to life on Troost. It was glorious in concept, but to be honest, it wasn’t all pretty.

The building needed work, and we ourselves needed defining. Many meetings and work days surpassed before we officially opened for business in the Spring of 2013, hosting dance and flow arts classes, parties, events, workshops and other means of productive entertainment. The official purpose of the Vibe Tribe was to always be raising the vibration, individually and collectively. To always be bettering ourselves through creative mediums, be it in music, dance, costuming, set design or other visual arts. Being an artist is a life style, and working together collectively should synergistically raise us all to be the best we can be. Sue me, I’m an optimist; I know I already lost half of you.

The intention of the Vibe Tribe was also to be all inclusive, radical self sustainability and radically creativity. To build the bridge across Troost is an important concept to me. We ran ourselves as donation based, encouraging people to “get involved” in whatever way they saw fit. Show up and donate $5 at yoga. If you can’t afford to pay, come sweep the floors before, or take a stack of fliers and pass them out on your block. Whatever you contribution is, own it. Nobody was to be turned away for lack of funds, and that I was very adamant about.

As the leader of this communal project, I wore (too) many hats, promoting, producing, organizing, as well as keeping up with the basic cleaning, working the door at events, all the while teaching and performing weekly, all on top of my “real” jobs (yes, I’m used to being spread thin).

Giving credit where credit is due, many people involved did step up to help. Some people have paid yearly or monthly dues. Others run events and continue to teach classes. One person anonymously donated a fire pitt and mop bucket for the studio, and it was the nicest thing anybody could have done. But as the years have gone by, I’ve begun to struggle with commitment, essentially. That of my own, and that of the others’ involved. Herding cats is never an easy task…

For perspective, almost no member of the Vibe Tribe who was there in the beginning is still with us. People come and go so quickly. I’ve often pondered “what’s wrong with this project that people leave it so easily?” The answer is parallel to asking “what is wrong with humanity?” The Vibe Tribe is a perfect metaphor for real life… where all of these different types of energies come together and some mesh well, and some don’t.

In short, the concept was viable, but not sustainable in the long run. For every good person willing to help get their hands dirty, there is another making the space even more filthy and unfit for survival. For every person willing to give $50 in dues, there is another stealing the same amount in equipment or energy. The drama alone costed more than I can afford to admit. They say balance is the key to the universe…. and by all means, I’ve learned that I am NOT much of a business woman…. essentially what I am saying is that everyone, including myself talked a big talk when it came to our desires and dreams and goals, but when it came down to it, nobody was willing to put in the amount of work to make it sustainable. Showing up is half the battle. It was all about what YOU can come and contribute. And even though people continue to message me daily saying “I’m coming to class this week / when is your next event / how can I help support?” they have stopped showing up almost all together.

As much as I’d like to place blame on several individuals involved with the project who never contributed, who didn’t donate their time or resources…. in reality I can only blame myself. For not being a stronger leader; for not investing more time or energy, and for not inspiring more individuals collectively to keep this alive. I could/should/would have liked to do more. But I am only one person. I can only do so much.

No, I am not down on myself! In fact, I am more ecstatic than ever about the prospects of the future… I’m about to start hosting on SoulCypher’s internet radio show 5-styles, also I’m working with the budding American Roots Magazine with Little Class Records, and promoting an amazing new eye mascara ;) Did I mention there is the new album I’m working on? Time is a valuable thing, and I’m attempting to create more of it for myself by letting that which does not serve me go.

The lessons learned through the Vibe Tribe experience, lessons about community and organizing, have all been invaluable.

My idealistic side would still like to think that communal organizing and even living could be sustainable. I’ve always had a vision… living with my tribe. Growing food. Dancing and singing in the evenings by fire side. Cafes, plays and cabarets. I want it all… and I want to share it with the people who I love. My star family. As soul mates. Admittedly, naivety will always be my weakness. And for that I am grateful. One must be grateful for the experience, the journey, not necessarily the destination.

How can you support now? Well, if you know anybody looking for an art studio/production space, we are currently looking for somebody to take over the Vibe Tribe location and make it their own. Please contact me for details at  We also could use your financial contribution to pay off the absorbent back-billed water bill that was just sprung upon us.  Please, if you can give, you will be appreciated!

I would like to formally THANK my boyfriend and love, Tim “Bring the Ruckus” Ruck for being such a rock star and supporter.  Thank you for your help, assistance, ambiance and unconditional love.  You have been more than on my side, and for that I am grateful.

And finally, LET ME KNOW your thoughts on communal living and working situations. The more you learn, the more you know what to expect, and I am never done learning!


No place like OM,

Moon Time….

Posted in Uncategorized on October 9, 2014 by missconceptionaly

I recently posted an article about the affects of the “October Harvest Blood Full Moon Eclipse”, and was met with some serious backlash. While there are MANY practices and customs that I do not follow or believe apply to me personally, I think it very important to try not to judge others on what works for them.

My innocent post to shed some enlightenment on my fellow face bookers, turned into a blood brawl… no wonder our country is in dismay, we can’t even agree to disagree about spirituality.

This man had a rather bitter disposition…. Justin Case writes:
“Dafuq did I just read??? Are you shitting me with this astrology bs? You all do this just for fun right? To honestly think the position of planets and stars has some kind of influence on your life? You all need to go back to high school, or should I say…. Go to school. Wow. Talk about the dumbing down of America. Because I really feel this kind of science illiteracy is incredibly damaging to the human race. It thwarts progression, research, and discovery. It hinders the future of our children by suppressing their understanding of how the world works, and leads them astray chasing fantasy, instead of working to progress the human condition. And I’d be willing to bet you all go on to condemn people who believe in religion huh???”

WOW. Stricken with confusion as to WHY somebody would be so MAD about such a post….. It’s astrology. Are you petitioning to have it taken out of the newspaper? “STOP ALL THE PRESSES, the gypsies are at it again”. I’ve never understood such radicalism, no matter which way you go.

My response initially:

“Justin, it just blows my mind that you call it nonsense. It IS physics. The locations of these powerful planets affect the quantum’s and other physical properties of the very basic ways our bodies work. Gravitational pull and ‘retrogrades’ can very strongly effect our PHYSICAL bodies, which in turn can affect our emotional states. You can get as wishy washy with it was you want, or not…. take everything with a grain of salt, especially spirituality, but there is no room for hatred!

I don’t get for one second why ANYBODY would worship JESUS, but I don’t chastise those who do. What works for you, WORKS FOR YOU. Astrology is deeply seeded in countless ancient religions and cultures, including Christianity (ever seen Zeitgiest?), the Hebrew Kabbalah and with the ancient Egyptians for starters. Astrology may or may not be 100% ACCURATE, but it is INTERESTING which is why I read it when it’s in front of my face and don’t go out of my way to seek it out when it’s not. People have used the moon cycles and planets for YEARS to REMIND ourselves to set intention, to celebrate with our communities, to pray (for our own mindsets, not because it necessarily changes anything other than ourselves, which is the whole POINT of self-actualization). We are striving to manifest our own destinies, because yes that is possible, but you have to BELIEVE it is possible for it to work. If you don’t believe in magic you will never see it, and that is a sad life to live.”

I am wounding if he even read the article, which states that “Freedom seems to be the theme of this eclipse, and that love is taboo and hidden”.

Maybe his backlash is just the anger and frustration that Justin has with his own self and understanding; perhaps his struggle to be free starts with condemning others? So often FEAR is used to control the masses right under our noses. Anybody who has that much anger for something that is doing no wrong is clearly hiding from love and living in fear.

The Darkastrology articles also states: “Maybe lovers have been forced into hiding because they are unacceptable to society or the couples parents. I think this eclipse will allow them to able to come out into the open and they will be liberated by the Alpheratz/Uranian Moon.”

Now to be clear, I post information about full moons and new moon gatherings and such because I think it is IMPORTANT to come together as a community and celebrate life. I don’t care how you pray, or if you don’t pray. You probably still THINK about what you want your future to look like, in some fashion. Why not do it together, with intention, without judgement, and with compassion?

This anti-everything kind of mentality is what is holding our whole universe back from success. We could all just agree to disagree… I mean, isn’t that kind of what is happening with prohibition? Some states want marijuana legalized, and have done so, hence those like-minded individuals are moving to those areas of the country to fit their needs. Nobody is forcing ANYBODY to believe in marijuana legalization, or astrology, or Jesus (at least not in MY church, nobody is FORCING thought), but we need not chastise each other for believing differently when it’s doing no harm. Innocent people are being killed in Africa due to genocide and warfare… go pick on THOSE problems. Leave my astrology alone, for God’s sake! Like minds tend to stick together… maybe Justin would fit right in with that culture? (And I mean that with all do respect… you have to completely understand a problem in order to solve it or make change).

Point of clarification: I would consider myself a skeptic from the get go. I don’t believe it unless I see it. I’ve seen a LIFETIME full of MAGIC to know that it only exists if you want it to…like a placebo effect. Ie: If you take a pill and hallucinate, are those hallucinations real, or false since you took a drug to induce what was just in your mind? Again, these concepts are ONLY as real as you allow them to be.

Astrology is really a bunch of words on a page about the heavens above that some (likely) intelligent individual decided to over-analyze, and it’s EXCITING to me that it might actually offer some positive guidance and assistance towards being a better person… certainly more guidance and clarity than Justin has offered in his closed minded rant about intelligence. Solar flairs are REAL and a heads-up that one is on it’s way due to a retrograde can’t HURT anything other than allow me to keep my guard up and eyes open wide. It can only, at best, provide some sense of clarity in this psychotic world of confusion.

And yes, you can spout science all day…. but we don’t even know HOW a seed grows. We just know it GROWS. And it grows better when the sun is in a particular part of the solar system for specific places on earth. This Blood Moon serves as a time representing HARVEST, preparing for winter, and going inward to hibernate.

For the record, “eclipses come around every six months to shake us down, wake us up and offer us the gift of seeing our lives more clearly. We are graced with two this month. The first is a total lunar (meaning it occurs on a full Moon) eclipse in Aries on October 8th, and the next is a partial solar eclipse (meaning it occurs on a new Moon) in Scorpio on October 23rd.” says: If there are things in your life that you are hanging onto merely for comfort, security and/or to numb the pain, you’ll want to use this Moon to reconsider how the cost might outweigh the benefit. Let go. And ask yourself: What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning? (If the answer is “nothing”, you have some brainstorming to do.) What makes you feel most yourself? How can you get more of that into your life?

We should ALL be asking ourselves such self-actualized questions, whether they are coming from your Guru, from a blog post, or an astrological website. BE THE BEST YOU YOU CAN BE. And do it YOUR WAY, because I wouldn’t have it ANY other way.

Judge me if you want to; meanwhile, I’m trying REAL hard not to judge you. Yes, we are all human.




A poem for the Harvest lune:

The moon
Rises and sets
Over our regrets,
Pondering its own
Destined dichotomy.

Energy ebbs and flows
Light going where darkness goes
Traversing at its own risk,

And sometimes
In the darkest of night
As we trip and fall over shadows
Not always tangible,
but still more than real

The down spin
Becomes the propellant
To rising higher
Than before in the sky
To meet the moon’s gaze.

So step lightly
On your path to enlightenment…

Be it the moon or some other lumination guiding your way,
May the shadows
always keep us safe.


An Open Letter to Phases of the Moon,

Posted in Uncategorized on September 18, 2014 by missconceptionaly

Dear Phases,

My, my, what a precedent you have set for yourself, Danville!! Did you know what you were getting into when you invited 20,000 of the country’s most magical hippies to invade your land? You had big shoes to fill with Electric Forrest just around the river bend, and you delivered, in my eyes. You had the lineup of Coachella, the wacky energy of Wakarusa, the art sculptures of Burning man (literally) AND the lines of Bonaroo. Congratulations! So where do we go from here?

How do you manage to outdo yourself when working on such a mass scale? As a seasoned festival goer for over a decade now, I pride myself on the festivals I attend and how I participate. From working on the art team, to gracing the stage with my own performance arts troupe and DJ, I’ve seen many sides to the festival circuit. This time, I decided to join your volunteer forces at Phases of the Moon, and it was a humbling experience, to say the least. Nothing like picking up hippies’ trash to remind you how human you are. But everyone who we passed was SO grateful for the green team, and it was a great sight to see such a clean land, and a conscious group of people.

Consciousness. The new evolution of festival goers. Are we conscious or not? Are we really leaving no trace? Does anyone really even care? It always seems nobody really knows what time it is to even make the chakra cleansing workshop at the sanctuary, so do we leave it all up to chance, instead? To fly by the seat of one’s pants, or to listen to the people… which inevitably is twice as much work.

I’ve got to hand it to the Phases of the Moon planning committee, your attention to the artistic detail was out of this world. You may not have had security in place where they needed to be, but the live flowers placed strategically all over the festival were a super nice touch. You could tell the people who planned it really had a vision and weren’t going to settle for less than that artistic vibe they were going for, even if it went over budget. All in all, ya’ll did real good from an artists point of view. (You had me at Alex and Alyson Grey).

Things to keep in mind for next year:
Trust your security. Prepare them for what lies ahead.

Allow your volunteers to take a more active role in deciding what needs to be addressed (i.e.: They stuck us out in family camping to pick up trash, when gathering the cigarette butts in the main stage would have been far more productive)

Light the bonfire DURING the actual music, and closer to the stages so people can keep warm and utilize the heat during the headliners.

Have digital clocks stationed around the festival (maybe near the schedules) so that people do know what time it is.

Lastly, stating the obvious, let your people come in and set up CAMP as early as Wednesday if they desire. You don’t have to open up the main venue right away, but you already know, the flow of traffic left something to be desired.

To sum up, I’ve still got blisters on my toes, snot in my noes, scratches I don’t remember and some serious sunburned lips, but it was all worth it. I’ll be back next year, if you’ll have me, and I’d love to continue as a part of your team. You have the vision, you just need the visionaries to help you implement. Every festival should be looking to you as a model for how to coexist with the locals and seasoned festival goers. Touché

Until we meet again,


One bite at a time

Posted in Uncategorized on August 7, 2014 by missconceptionaly

How do you eat an elephant?

Step one is irrelevant
in the process of enlightening:
if you’ve already QUIT
Not joking, wherever you’re at, put it down,
decide right now you are a non smoker, be proud,
“We don’t need a crutch to stand up…”   had enough? That’s whats up…
So what if you’ve already quit? Well congrats, but that’s not it.
See what you put into your body is up to nobody but you.

Step Two.

Step two up the stairway to enlightenment, is right nourishment.  You are what you eat.  If you eat crap, no wonder you hurt like that it’s a fact your body is on a track and what biology you attract says a lot about what goes in must come out   (you see)

Step three.  See.  Look me in the eye and do you.    What are you here to do?  I’m to have fun in this moment under our sun.  There’s something for everyone.  We’ve only just begun.  And at the same sign we already won.  We are all one, once more

Step Four – it’s for sure, The earth is our home, since before Mother Earth was born; now not alone, we  rest on her throne.  We are the chosen ones, sons of daughters of the sun turned to man, here to defend our own acre of land.  Do all we can to work hand-in-hand with the soul of earth’s llifespan.  Trust in the divine plan.  And take care of the sand, fire, water and air so that we can all dare

to survive.

Step five – Take care of your tribe.  Migrate if needed. But to stay alive you’re better stickin’ together, believin that the weather can change on the back of a feather.  So plant your roots deep and let  the grounds reap the rewards. Of course

 Find time to escape, but don’t let your mind trick.  Step six  – say it like you see… when you see me, smile and sing, because we are alive and free, to know what we know when we see what we say and if we disagree?  We can agree to look away and be on our own pathway to step seven

Heaven – is a place we’ve not yet known.  At least not in this lifetime but in the past we’ve shown it feels a lot like home …  we can’t fight about where we are growin’, or where we’ve been.   But knowing Each day is a chance to start over again.  From scratch.   A train to catch.  To be who you need to be. Actually, Free to move and believe and wear a bindi or do whatever, I think our clever parents called it free speech, and we’re taking it back making hiphophulahoophistory you with me or is the path still a mystery

Cuz let me remind thee, for those of us who are not yet ready to be so free.

Step one is to, quit blowing smoke, no joke…. it is wrote.

So how do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time…

half the time step one is irrelevant, but

all it takes is time.


Riddle me this….

Posted in Uncategorized on July 9, 2014 by missconceptionaly

“Wise folks count their blessings fools count their problems”
-Michael Franti

I’ve learned some things recently about pain. When you hurt someone, you, too, will hurt equally as much in return. Maybe directly. Maybe indirectly. Maybe totally unaffiliated. Maybe not even in this lifetime. All in due time, with each kind. Pain is very real and contagious.

So what happens when we hurt ourselves? When we knowingly ingest poison in the moment, knowing the consequences of the long run. When we stay, because it also hurts to go. When we put ourselves down and can no longer hold anyone else up. Does pain cancel itself out when it’s self inflicted?

It seems
the age is dark
for the mind and the heart
the patterns we weave
are clouded by the air we breath
and the sews we reap
don’t always grow from the seeds we seeped

My good friend Auset said it best just yesterday: It’s like we have all the tools and codes. We just have forgotten how to use then. And I don’t claim to know any right answers by any means. But I do know that the answers tend to come when the right questions are asked.

So what’s your burning question? Answer me!

Teach others by first teaching yourself. And perhaps in those teachings lies the collective power to lift the dark clouds. Drown out our teared fears in a garden of truth so that fountains of quests become ionic. Fragments of ingenuity, sewn into the fabric of our spirits.

We must be free with knowledge! Free with spirit. Free with creativity. Free from power. And poverty. And political lunacy. We must be free to count our blessings.

“Do it with intention. Not obligation” – Yogi

Miss Conception

Wakarusa Interactive Artists

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 22, 2014 by missconceptionaly

MissConception and the VibeTribe are SUPER excited to be orchestrating and and participating in this year’s live artists at Wakarusa. Look for the festivities on Mulberry Mountain in Arkansas June 5-8. We will be bringing you live artists all around the festival and on the Great Wall of Waka! Workshops including yoga, hoop dance, meditation, movement, spirit animals and more all weekend in the main stage and outpost tent! Fire dancing, art installations, stilt walking artists, clowns, magicians, open mics, and all the magic to be made shall be brought during this epic weekend.

For more information on the interactive art, visit:

You can still by tickets here:

See you on the mountain!


Waka Artist 2014 LIVE


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